Hold Your Breath
by TheAngryInch
Summary: Kadie Gilbert is the black sheep of the family. She's messed up. She's in the wrong place at the wrong time, and for some reason spared. When she's thrown into the world of vampires and supernatural creatures, she doesn't know how to handle it. And then there's Damon. He's dark, sexy, and annoyingly arrogant. How does she cope? Damon/OC. Rated M for drug use and language.
1. Black Sheep

**1. BLACK SHEEP**

The gray clouds in the sky were keeping the cemetery shaded. Under the trees, next to a tomb that probably hadn't been visited in years, it was perfect and chilly. The cold winds from winter were threatening, brushing lightly against the faces of the few people sitting around. The young woman took another drink of the cheap whiskey before handing it back to a balding man, watching as he downed it. Her long, almost white blonde hair blew into her face at the hands of the wind. She didn't bother to brush it away, too intent on studying the man in front of her. Her almost black eyes locked onto his and she softly smiled. Jared was his name. He was clad in black, pulling off the look that most of the others in the graveyard shared; all of them were skinny and fucked up. Her eyes partially closed, her naturally thick lashes shading her already dark eyes. "Yo, Vicki!" Jared spoke up, his eyes locking onto the tan teenager walking towards them. The blonde leaned against Tony and eyed her as she took a drink of the whiskey being passed around, and then a hit of the almost gone joint.

"You baby-sitting, Donavon?" Behind the tanned teenager, holding her hand, stood Jeremy Gilbert. He had big, innocent brown eyes and equally brown hair falling in them. Most people knew that he was hanging around Vicki and taking pills. They all said that he was following in the footsteps of his older sister, leading himself into a life that he was too nice for. And honestly, Jeremy Gilbert was. He cared about other people and even himself. The blonde knew that he was just getting into their lifestyle because of their parents death, but she would have preferred him to not get into that lifestyle at all. Jeremy Gilbert deserved more in life. Kadie, the blonde sitting next to Tony, never wanted him to see that kind of life. She wasn't the best big sister in the world, but she did care about her siblings. She cared about them more than they would ever know.

Kadie rolled her eyes. "My little brother, Vicki? Seriously?" Vicki introduced Jeremy and said that he was cool, throwing an apologetic glance at Kadie. The blonde sighed and watched as her brother turned down the joint Vicki tried to hand him. The girl shrugged and gave it back to Jared, laughing like she had been there with them forever. This was the place that they all hung out together before they graduated. Kadie, Jared, Tony and Melissa would all ditch school and go to the cemetery; a place they all figured no one would go looking for them. Some of them were still friends, but mostly they came out of routine and lack of wanting to do it alone. They all agreed that it would look like they had a problem if they spent their evenings drinking and smoking by themselves. None of them wanted to be an alcoholic just yet.

Jeremy let out a laugh, finally accepting the joint from Jared. Kadie wanted to glare at him, but her brother's choices- however stupid they may be- were his own. Kadie couldn't keep him from doing everything he wanted to do even if she tried. He would have just called her a hypocrite, anyway. "What?" Vicki asked him, laughing as well. They were a lot younger than the rest of them. Neither of the teenagers looked nearly as roughed up as the people surrounding them. Jeremy still looked mildly healthy, and Vicki could have passed as a cheerleader if she wanted. Kadie had black skinny jeans on with random patches of dirt from sitting on the ground. On top of that, she had a band t-shirt that she borrowed from Jared that practically engulfed her. She could have easily worn the shirt as a dress, if band shirts could pass as dresses. Her wrist was covered in random silver chains and black bracelets that people had gotten her over the years. Still, on her left wrist, she wore a charm bracelet her parents got her with a single silver cross hanging off the side and a lantern; the only two charms they were able to buy her before their death.

"I'm stoned in a cemetery." Vicki nudged him lightly with her shoulder. They both looked happy together. Kadie pushed down the uncomfortable feeling in her stomach and took another drink, trying to ignore the fact that her little brother was completely okay with letting Kadie see that side of him. She never thought that she was bad enough for Jeremy to not care what he did in front of her; not have to worry about her telling Jenna or Elena. They both knew, though. Jeremy was obvious about what he did with his personal life. Every time that she got a call from Jenna, she would beg Kadie to have a talk with him. What was she supposed to say? Her life wasn't ruined because of the drugs. They were only making it better. The painkillers that she took helped her sleep at night, and alcohol made everything easier to handle. Substance abuse is an easy way out of life, and there are little consequences for it. How could she lie to her little brother, who already had a taste of that life and was well on his way to knowing that they helped?

"They don't mind," Vicki spoke, referring to the gravestones around them. "They're dead. Let me take this up a notch. Hey, Tony!" She pulled out a pill bottle from inside of her green jacket and threw them to Tony. He caught them and laughed, handing the bottle to the girl next to him. Melissa flipped the bottle over to check the name of the pills that Vicki just gave them. No matter what they were, Kadie had a feeling that they were going to be passed around. None of the older people cared. They'd taken them all before.

"Oh! Nice! Vickies from Vicki! Ha." The man laughed at that, leaning further into Melissa, who said, "Well, thank you, Elena Gilbert, whoever you are." Kadie's eyes snapped to the pill bottle. Jeremy took pills from his own sister? Kadie couldn't say anything, yet again. She pressed her lips together and furrowed her brows, taking on the same frustrated expression as Jeremy.

"You took those from the house?" He asked her, getting up to snatch the pill bottle out of Melissa's hands. The other people there raised their eyebrows, amused by the way that the fifteen year old boy was acting. Kadie was glad that her brother got some sense.

"She wasn't using it," was Vicki's reply.

"She's gonna notice if they're gone. That's not cool." Jeremy put the pill bottle back into his own pocket.

Vicki sat up, looking at him like he had lost his mind. "It's no big deal, Jer."

"Yeah, it kinda is, Vick." Vicki pushed herself off of her seat on the ground and followed after Jeremy when he started walking away. She stopped him and Kadie watched as they bickered. She could hear parts of the conversation. The only part she really cared about, though, was when her little brother asked why Vicki was hanging out with losers. Kadie had it come, she really did. It didn't make the words sting any less. If there was a better way to kill her happiness, it would be to bring her little sister to the cemetery instead. Elena was a lot more caring than her little brother would ever be, and would definitely try to drag Kadie back to the Gilbert home and force her to give up on that lifestyle. She would probably lock Kadie in a basement until everything went back to normal. Kadie wasn't normal, though, and locking her in a basement wouldn't make her any better. Jeremy, though… Jeremy was good. Her little brother left Vicki standing there, and the girl came back in a storm. She was on a mission to forget every single problem in her life, and that is exactly what she did the second she took a seat next to Kadie.

"He's a good guy, huh?" Kadie asked, looking over at the teenager. Vicki rolled her eyes and grabbed the whiskey out of Kadie's hands. Her nostrils flared when Kadie spoke. They had just gotten into a fight, and honestly Kadie didn't want her little brother into that kind of stuff. He would only break Vicki's heart in the end, when he finally puts his head on straight and decides that he might as well make something of himself. Jeremy won't always be in that dark phase. He's normal.

"He's a dick," Vicki replied. Kadie laughed and took the whiskey back from her.

.::::.

The cemetery was already dark and it was hard to see. The only things that kept them lit were the moon peeking through the trees overhead and a flame in the middle of the circle. Even then, it was dim. The twenty-two year old woman enjoyed the lack of light on her dark eyes. She had been in the darkness many times, and even though she liked the sunshine on occasion, she always preferred the darkness. Kadie shifted in the grass. Her head was on Vicki's lap and Vicki was leaning against a tree. Music was playing as loud as possible, some weird rock song that Jared was into. It was blasting from his car. Everyone was sitting around, hanging out and using up the last of their drinks. Kadie was in and out of consciousness. Every now and again she could open her eyes and the world didn't seem so black, but most of the time she was out of it. Incoherent words would escape her mouth every so often, like when she had to use the restroom or when she had to move at all. She never moved, even then.

The music was cut suddenly and the people around Kadie groaned. "Donavon?" She heard one of the boys ask. She could only make out that it was a male and he was close.

Vicki laughed, causing Kadie's head to bob up and down with her body. "No, I'm good." After that, Kadie could hear the group shouting 'not it', and then Vicki laughing again. The brunette picked up the young woman in her lap and forced her to stand, saying that she should probably walk with her. Kadie nodded and Vicki laughed again. The woman would have been self-conscious of her appearance if she had not been so out of it. There was not a single care in her body as she stumbled closer to the car, tripping over nonexistent branches. Vicki kept laughing until they reached the car.

"Hey, man, you okay?" Kadie lifted her head to look at a man on his hands and knees. She blinked a couple of times as she stared at him. She could hear him muttering something, but nothing was coherent at the moment. She could barely understand her thoughts as her mind raced to figure out what he was doing in the cemetery at night. "You don't look good," Vicki said. Kadie blacked out after that. Her vision seemed to go out and time flew past her. She sat down on the ground and held her head, trying to sober up. Nothing worked. Not even the cold hair hitting her pale cheeks.

.:::.

"Drink up," She heard someone say next to her. Kadie groaned and rolled over, landing hard on the ground. The loud thud from her body connecting with something not soft told her that she wasn't in the cemetery anymore. Her stomach turned with sickness from the previous night's events- or was the night even over it? Kadie opened her eyes and was greeted with light, causing them to snap shut immediately. Her head didn't hurt, but she didn't want to be anywhere near the sun. That would definitely give her the headache that she was trying to avoid. Her stomach twisted and she could feel her insides moving uncomfortably. "You're awake," The same someone observed.

"Where am I?" Kadie asked, finally opening her eyes to see that his wrist was pressed against Vicki's mouth. She pressed her dark eyebrows together and pursed her lips. She had witnessed a lot of fucked up things, but she'd never seen anyone drinking another person's blood. A little bit of it dripped off of the side of Vicki's mouth as she hungrily reached for him, pulling his wrist closer to her. "What happened?" Her dark eyes were locked on Vicki's mouth. She'd never seen anyone react that way to blood before. She sighed. There's a first time for everything.

"My house," The man easily replied. He only looked a couple of years older than Kadie. She finally observed the rest of the house. It was way too big for anyone like her usual friends to afford. He must have had some really lenient and willing parents if they bought him something as nice as the place surrounding her. The man pushed Vicki off of his wrist and walked towards Kadie. Her eyes stayed locked on Vicki. She was finally waking up all the way, looking groggy and messed up still from the night before. A small laugh escaped her lips. Kadie rolled her eyes. "You might want some of this," He said, offering up his wrist. Kadie shook her head and laughed along with Vicki.

"No thanks, man. I'm not that freaky." She paused, finally taking notice to his appearance. He was incredibly attractive, but not anything that Kadie would go for. He didn't look near as bad as her normal boy. His eyes were still beautiful and he had a lean, athletic build. His black hair was messy and familiar. He shrugged in response, appearing incredibly nonchalant. It was kind of sexy, how he did that. Kadie pursed her lips. "You got a shower? I probably smell awful."

Vicki perked up. "Yeah, me too."

.:::.

Kadie ran her fingers through her wet hair. She wore the same shirt from the night before and her underwear. She was used to other people seeing her half naked. Not because of sleeping around, but because complete lack of caring around other people. Kadie rarely ever found someone she was attracted to enough to sleep with, and when she did it was never an actual relationship. Vicki, however, was still trying to find someone to love her like she deserved to be loved and accept their lifestyle. Jeremy was going to be that someone, until he decided that she was going to turn into a loser like his big sister. "Thanks for letting us use your shower," Kadie said to the man as he poured himself a glass of scotch. He took a large drink and handed it to Kadie. She gladly accepted and gulped it down. She might as well have some fun. "What's your name?"

"Damon Salvatore," The dark-haired man easily replied. Kadie groaned and threw her arm over her eyes. She knew that he was familiar. Damon raised an eyebrow at her reaction. She peeked out from under her arm and stared into those vibrant blue eyes before groaning again.

"Please tell me I didn't sleep with you," She said.

"You didn't." The man was honest when he spoke to her. Kadie breathed out a sigh of relief. "Why? Am I not attractive enough for you?" Damon was joking when he said it. Kadie had to ignore the comment. She didn't want to admit to him that she found him attractive. It was just lame whenever she had to confess her deeper wants and emotions. She tended to just get high and live life. What in the world would she need to find another person attractive for?

"My little sister is dating your brother," Kadie explained. Damon raised his eyebrows at this and smirked, just then glad that he kept the blonde alive. He was only going to keep her for her looks, and the fact that she didn't die alongside Vicki. Now he had leverage.

"She didn't tell me she had a sister," Damon mused. Kadie scoffed and took the newly poured glass out of his hand, taking another drink of it. If she was going to drink, she was going to get drunk doing so.

"Black sheep of the family," Kadie stated as she handed him back his glass. "Do you have anything stronger? You're killing me here." Damon raised his eyebrows again at the girl. He couldn't see how she was related in any way to the other two Gilberts. Both of them were kind and caring, and even though Jeremy was well on his way to becoming bad he didn't have it in him to do anything like his sister. Damon never expected to find a Gilbert- even the ones that he had met from his past- out in a cemetery, drinking with a bunch of losers. He kept his face cool. Kadie found herself staring into his eyes as she waited for his reply, trying to figure out what the dominant color was. All that came to mind was bright. She had a lot to drink the night before.

"Oh?" He said, entertaining the idea. He imagined Stefan's face when he mentioned he was holding Elena's older sister hostage. This was good. Vicki was only something to keep him company. Now he had the threat of killing his precious girlfriend's family. He was definitely going to get his ring back, and soon.

"I'm surprised she never mentioned me, though. We're kinda close," Kadie went on, pressing her eyebrows together. Just then Vicki came out of the bathroom, vigorously rubbing her hair with a towel. She had a large smile on her face. Kadie gave her friend a lopsided smile; lazy and faked. Damon's smile grew. This was just _perfect_.

"Oh, man. That shower was so great. What did you give me?" Vicki was only in her tank top and underwear, taking after the girl she was with the night before. Her outfit was a lot more revealing, though. Kadie would have to return Jared's shirt whenever she got the chance. She looked at the bracelets still around her wrist, drying off from the wet shower.

Damon walked closer to her. "Some blood. You loved it." Kadie watched as he animatedly spoke to Vicki. His eyes would rise and then fall back down, and his mouth was in a constant smug smirk. He might have been a lot darker than Kadie previously thought, and that turned her on like no other. She had a thing for the fucked up kind of guys, the ones with more issues than they should come with. She would never actually be with one, but that wasn't the point. She could revel in that darkness for hours if she wanted.

"I did? Wait. I'm confused. How did we get here?" She motioned towards the room they were standing in. Kadie finally travelled her eyes around. It was simple, and all of the curtains were closed, She was thankful for the blocked sunlight. Damon's eyes dilated as he looked into hers and Kadie pressed her eyebrows together. That was weird.

"We met in the woods. You were drunk, I attacked you. Then I killed all of your friends and I brought you here. Gave you some blood, you loved it. And now we're gonna party till the sun goes down." It took a moment for Kadie to process what he was saying. She was trapped inside of a house with a freak. He must have been on more drugs than Kadie had ever been on, because there was no way any of that could have happened. She'd have to get out of there. Her eyes widened. It's always the cute ones that end up insane.

"Ok. Um, but first, can I have another hit? That blood was so good," Vicki drawled.

Damon smirked. "Only if I can." He bit into his wrist and ripped it open, revealing a bleeding wound. Vicki pressed her mouth to it as she offered Damon her wrist. He bit down into hers. Kadie had seen some freaky shit before. She'd seen plenty of movies where the vampires drained a person dry and plenty more where the humans wanted to be intimate with one. It was pretty much a blood fest. This, though… Two humans drinking from each other were weird to watch. She couldn't say anything, though. She'd try anything once, and knew that Vicki would as well.

Seconds later, Vicki was jumping up and down on the bed in the room. Damon turned up the music as loud as possible and dancing. Vicki was jumping and running and dancing around, doing whatever she could to get her heart beat up. Kadie could only sit there and drink, waiting for everything to chill out. She hated having people around her that were too jumpy. She could laugh and have a good time, sure, but she wasn't the kind of person that could get hyper from anything. She'd seen people drink their own blood before, and it never did anything to them like what it was doing to Vicki. She was all over the place. Kadie took a drink out of the bottle she didn't ask for, watching with bored eyes. "I am so over Tyler," Vicki started, spinning around. "I knew from the beginning that I was only a piece of ass to him, but I thought maybe if he got to know me better he might see something more. But no." She was talking so fast. "Now, Jeremy-" Kadie perked up at the sound of her little brother's name. "-on the other hand, that's all he's ever seen in me is something more, and I like that."

Kadie took another drink, letting the burning liquid harshly slide down her throat. It never was easy drinking at first. The drunker she got, though, the easier the alcohol went down. She liked that. "Jeremy, huh? Elena's brother?"

Vicki nodded her head. "Yeah. Yeah, so, Elena used to date my brother, and they were always together, so Jeremy would always be hanging around and crushing on me and-" Vicki cut herself off, looking the older Salvatore over. He was still smirking. "Hey, why don't you have a girlfriend? You're, like, totally cool and so hot."

"I know," Damon replied.

"Could you be any more arrogant?" Kadie muttered, letting her eyes travel over everything but the two in the room with her.

"Don't you wanna be in love?" Vicki asked him, like an innocent child asking an adult. That was what she was, though. She didn't need to be dancing around an older man's living room. He was insane, anyway. They were all insane.

"I've been in love. It's painful and pointless and overrated."

"Except when it isn't," Vicki added. Kadie rolled her eyes. Damon's words were true, to the blonde at least. All that ever comes from love is pain. Even when happily in love, it's painful. Either people break up because one falls out of love or finds another they love more, or the person dies in the end. No matter what love becomes painful and it's pointless to even fall. It's painful, and pointless, and overrated.

"No more talking. Let's dance," Damon ordered. He pulled Vicki close to him and she raised her arms, swaying her hips back and forth against him. Vicki didn't last long, though. She opened her mouth and began to tell Damon her life story yet again. Kadie knew that Vicki was talkative and that she shared, but nothing had ever gotten her to open up that much.

"My mom spends most of her time in Virginia Beach with Pete. He drives trucks. I don't remember my dad, but from what I gather he's not worth remembering." Kadie bit the inside of her lip before taking another drink. It mixed with the blood from her bite and somehow soothed her throat when the alcohol went down.

"Your life is so pathetic," Damon replied with false sympathy. Vicki didn't seem to notice.

"Yeah. I mean, I'm the screwed-up one. Matt's got it so easy. He's the golden boy. I mean, he's gonna get a football scholarship and marry Elena and have a lawn mower and some babies, and when I think of my future, I just come up blank." Damon pressed up against her and buried his face in her neck, his lips lingering just centimeters away from her artery.

"You are so damaged," Damon said in the same voice he had taken on before Vicki started talking again. He obviously didn't want to talk about her life, but she went on anyway. Her only reply this time, however, was a simple yep. Kadie was glad. "I mean, you don't have one hint of self-esteem." Vicki's smile faded a little, but she kept her face happy.

"Nope, none."

"I think I know what can help you," Damon said. Kadie looked away again. If they were going to start having sex in there, she was going to have to be a lot drunker. She didn't want to have to wait for her friend to finish with a cute guy. She'd done it so many times before.

"What's that?" Vicki innocently asked. Kadie sighed.

"Death." The blonde jumped up in her seat when she heard the snap of a neck and a body hitting the ground. Her eyes went wide when they landed on Vicki. She kept herself from screaming. Instead, she scrambled away from the body with wide eyes.

"What the fuck!?" She finally pushed out. "Holy fucking shit, you really did kill fucking… Oh, god. Oh no." As much as she hated to admit, she did enjoy hanging around her old friends. Instead of scrambling away anymore, Kadie kept her wide eyes on the body and took another, large drink of the psycho's alcohol. Her heart was beating against her rib cage and adrenaline pumped through her veins, begging her to move or run or do anything, but she just stood there, drinking freely with her eyes stuck on the dead body of her friend. Her little brother was going to die when he knew that his sister had to watch his girlfriend die. He was going to- Damon gripped Kadie's face in his hands and looked into her eyes.

His pupils dilated just like they had with Vicki. This man was insane. "Calm down," He ordered. The tone in his voice didn't make her feel any less threatened by him. Kadie's heart still beat against her chest and blood still ran through her veins, pumping as fast as it could. She didn't do anything further to give away that she was freaking out, though. Maybe if she could outsmart him and make a run for it, call the cops…

Movement out of the corner of her eye forced Kadie to look away from the psycho that still had her face in his hands. Vicki was waking up, like she had just woken up from a bad hangover and not death. "What happened?" She groaned out, grabbing her head. "We were dancing and then-" Damon looked away from Kadie.

"And then I killed you." His voice was calm. How in the hell was Vicki alive? Kadie's nerves died down as soon as she saw that the girl she came here with was okay. She was drunk. She could have been seeing things, but she'd never hallucinated under the influence before. Maybe she had taken too many pills the night before and the mixture did something to her head. She reassured herself, repeating the sentence over and over again in her mind. Vicki was alive, and she was just insane.

"What?" Vicki asked, pressing her eyebrows together. Her thick lips were cracked and pale. She really did look dead to Kadie. Her body was so limp on the ground.

"You're dead," Damon replied, as if death was no big deal.

"I'm dead?" Vicki was obviously confused. She pushed herself up off of the floor and rubbed her head some more. Her eyes found Kadie's and she smiled. Vicki was alive. The man they were with had lost it and Vicki was alive. Kadie let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding.

"Yeah, well, let's not make a big deal out of it. You drank my blood, I killed you, and now you have to feed in order to complete the process," Damon easily explained. Feed? Kadie examined Vicki closely. She was alive. She wasn't dead. Kadie was losing her mind alongside this man and her friend was very much so alive. She never cared for Vicki, but she never wished death on the girl. Sometimes she could have a heart.

"You're wasted," Vicki laughed out. She went over to sit on the couch by Kadie. When Vicki's skin connected with hers, Kadie let out another breath. She was cold, but still there. Kadie wasn't insane. Or maybe she was. Her mind wasn't working right at all. Everything was out of place and everywhere and all of her thoughts were so jumbled that she found things hard to comprehend. She knew that she just saw a person die. She knew that she just heard and saw Vicki on the floor. Her eyes flickered to Damon as he took a drink. She did the same. "Come on," Vicki pulled on Kadie's arms and took her towards the door.

"You don't wanna be out there all alone. You're about to get really freaky." Damon tried to reason with Vicki, but she kept pulling Kadie towards the exit. The blonde was already feeling incredibly drunk, but she took another drink just to attempt to calm her nerves. Nothing felt right.

"Okay, I had a really good time. I just wanna go home." Vicki sighed, giving Damon a weird look. How did they end up at his house?

Damon blocked the door. "You're gonna start craving blood, and until you get it, you're gonna feel very out of it. You have to be careful." Damon's eyes were serious when he looked down at Vicki. She snorted and shook her head, pushing past him. "See? You're already starting to fall apart."

"And I'm going home now," Vicki deadpanned. Kadie pulled herself out of her grip and rubbed her head. Her world was blinking in and out of place, over and over again. She needed some sleep, or a shower or something. She'd had so many bad times after taking pills that she was used to this feeling, but it never got old. Every time it unsettled her like she was going to die.

"Ok, fine. I'm just warning you. Actually, you know what? You should go. In fact, if I were you, I would stop by your boyfriend Jeremy's house." Damon shrugged, his smug grin coming back. Kadie pursed her lips. Her body went forward on its own, causing her to stumble a bit. Damon caught her. She didn't want to be in the arms of a psycho, but maybe she was the psychotic one. Was it safe for him to be around her? Kadie didn't know. She was having a hard time telling reality apart from what went on in her head.

"Yeah, whatever," Vicki replied. She didn't look back as she walked away.

"Bye," Damon called, happily. "Tell Elena I said hi. And if you see Stefan, tell him to call me!" Kadie covered her eyes when she heard the door slam. Damon set her up against the wall, where she easily slid down into a sitting position. Her knees were curled against her chest, and her elbow was rested on top of one of them to support the hand covering her eyes. Her head pounded with all of the thoughts running through it, but every now and again it would go back to a lightheaded sort of feeling. "Now what do I do with you?"

"Whatever you want?" Kadie suggested, smilingly lightly while keeping her eyes covered. She could hear Damon laugh as he stood over her. She felt arms scoop up under her and lift her with ease, like she weighed nothing at all. She didn't expect Damon to be as strong as he was. "So what's with you and my sister's boyfriend? He's not very fond of you, from what she tells me. 'Raging family issues', I believe was the term used." Damon chuckled and set her down on the couch.

She uncovered her eyes. "He took something from me," Damon said. She figured that he was going to leave it at that. She didn't really want to talk about their problems, not right then. "So when did you start hanging out in cemeteries?" He changed the subject. Kadie breathed a sigh of relief.

"When I was 14, maybe. I'm pretty sure it was the summer before high school started," Kadie explained, shrugging. "Diagnosed with any mental illnesses recently?" Damon raised his eyebrows at that. "I mean, you believed that you killed Vicki. Did you?"

"I'm a vampire," Damon stated. Kadie laughed.

"So you're a schizo. Got it." Damon rolled his eyes but didn't say anything else on the subject. She had to be wearing vervain, if he wasn't able to compel her earlier. Her mind was still going back and forth and she wasn't sure which part was the sane and which wasn't. She couldn't even tell if this was real. "So, how'd you get to be a vampire?" Damon took a drink and looked at Kadie with bored eyes. His expression showed his distaste in the conversation, but he didn't look angry.

"I was shot."

"When?"

"1864." Kadie didn't expect that answer. She was planning on him saying that he was shot just the year before, and when he woke up he suddenly craved blood and knew that his calling was to be a vampire. But it did make sense, even if the thought was absurd. His house was way too nice for someone his age to afford, and there weren't any parents around for him or Stefan. If there were, they most likely would have freaked the second that they noticed two girls running wild in their home. Then there was the whole drinking blood thing, and the fact that Vicki was… So maybe Kadie was insane, too.

"Wow," Kadie breathed. "200 years, right?" Damon nodded. "How do you live like that? The years go by so fast and then we all die. The knowledge of that death makes us live it up. We do whatever we please and try to squeeze as much in before death. Do you just sit there under the impression that you'll have time to do it later?" Kadie took the glass from his hand and took a drink. She had no idea where the bottle from earlier that day went. Her mind was shot.

"Never thought about it like that," Damon stated. The corners of Kadie's mouth tugged down. "But I plan on living it up soon." His eyes went somewhere else.

"So, is Stefan a vampire too?" Kadie took another drink, her eyes closing tight when she did so. The harsh drink rubbed against her throat and wanted to make her cough. She refused to do so. She was having a pretty rough day. Damon nodded. "Since 1864, right? How do you guys walk in the sun?" Kadie tore her eyes away from his for a moment to grab the pants lying on the couch next to her. She easily slid them on.

"Magic." Kadie laughed and shook her head, looking elsewhere. She didn't feel safe with him, no, but there was nothing else for her to do. She would have to call Jared later and return his shirt and maybe hang out at the cemetery again. It was kind of what they did every night after they all got off of work. Kadie worked at the Mystic Grill with Vicki, so sometimes they would end up going there together. A tiny piece of her was glad that she was just hallucinating when she saw the man snap Vicki's neck. As much as she hated her personality, she was getting used to having her around. The others liked her, too.

"Man, Elena is probably so worried."

"Let's go see her," Damon said, looking outside. She asked how he could walk in the sun, but didn't think that she had yet to see him out there. The entire time that they were hanging out, even though it was during the day, Damon didn't set foot in the sunlight. He kept all of the blinds closed, and the only time he suggested leaving was the second that the sun went down. Maybe he couldn't walk in the sun. Or he could. Kadie's head spun again and she nodded.

"My breath smells awful. Do you think she'll notice?" They all knew that Kadie spent her time drinking from sunrise to sunset, but she didn't want them to be around her while she did it. Maybe that was the real reason that Kadie was so uncomfortable with having her little brother around. She didn't want him to see her in her normal state of mind. She would have said something about him doing that if she truly cared about him doing those things, wouldn't she? Why didn't he feel uncomfortable doing them around her?

"Nah," Damon replied. He slipped his arm around the girl's shoulder, and without warning moved as fast as he could to Elena's house. He was at her doorstep in barely two seconds. The blonde didn't think anything of it. She blinked a few times and hit her forehead, convinced that she was too drunk to understand what was happening. He was glad that she kept telling herself that. He wouldn't have to worry about not being able to compel her as long as she thought he was insane.

Damon knocked on the door and Elena answered. Her eyes went wide when they landed on her sister. "Damon, what are you doing?" She turned around. "Jeremy, go upstairs." Kadie could see her little brother, the one that she spent the day with, walking upstairs. "We thought you were dead." Elena sniffled as she pulled her sister inside, wrapping her arms around her.

"Why?"

"Jeremy said he saw you at the cemetery earlier with those people that were murdered," Elena went on. Kadie blinked a few times, knowing that she heard wrong. Her eyes flew to Damon and she stepped further inside, suddenly completely aware of how insane he was. She was out of her mind, but so was he.

"You're afraid of me," Damon laughed out. "I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess. Stefan finally fessed up." Kadie's mind couldn't properly wrap around the idea of him being a vampire. Her entire life, she went around telling herself that there was no such thing as monsters. Even though this guy looked human, he'd been dead. She rubbed her temples. Damon put his hand on her shoulder and Elena ripped Kadie away.

"Stay away from her," Elena barked. She had some guts, talking to a psycho like that.

"Hey, there's no need to be rude. I'm just looking for Stefan. May I come in? Oh, wait. Of course I can. I've been invited. We can cut to the chase if you want. I'm not gonna kill you right now. That wouldn't serve my greater agenda. So... Where's Stefan?" Kadie had spent the entire day with a psycho. What was he talking about? Why did he want to see his little brother so bad? Nothing made sense. Nothing mattered. Kade repeated to herself over and over again that nothing mattered and suddenly, it didn't. She could handle him being a psycho and she could get her and her sister out of the mess if he was. He was strong, sure, but Kadie was smart… or at least she used to be.

"He's out looking for Vicki," Elena replied, cautiously eyeing her older sister. She was rubbing her temples and acting strange, but that might just be her normal behavior. Elena wouldn't be able to deal with Damon turning her sister into a vampire as well. As far apart as they've all drifted over the years, Elena still cared about her sister and would stake Damon in a heartbeat if he did anything like that to her; if he put that curse on her. "Are you okay?" Elena mumbled, trying to be quiet. Kadie looked up at her sister, confused at the question. She nodded slowly. Was everyone out of their minds, or was she just seeing them all out of their minds?

"Don't look at me with those judgey little eyes. She's going to thank me for what I did to her." So Elena thought he was a vampire as well. It appeared that everyone in Mystic Falls needed to be put away somehow. Kadie was still having a hard time believing that all of the people she'd been hanging out with for years were gone. They were the only people she really ever had in life. She still had Jared's shirt.

"Did you thank Katherine?" Elena snapped back.

Damon's eyebrows pressed together at the mention of Katherine. "Mm." His tone and eyes were dark. Even if he is a psychopath, Kadie kind of wanted to be around him. That darkness surrounding him was hard for her to not want to pull into. Kadie had a hard time admitting it, but she was most likely masochistic with her complete lack of regard for her mental and physical health. She loved the thought of it all. "Got the whole life story, huh?"

"I got enough," Elena said, sure of herself. She stood tall with straight shoulders, barely an inch over the blonde's head. Her little sister was the strong one in the family. Neither Kadie nor Jeremy would be able to live properly if they lived like Elena did.

"Oh, I doubt that. Tell my brother I'm looking for him." Damon's eyes fell on Kadie and softened for a millisecond. No one noticed. Not even the vampire himself. "Oh, tip for later, be careful who you invite in the house." With that, Damon sped off into the night. He slammed the door behind him, leaving Kadie and Elena in the hall by themselves.

Elena was the first to speak up, looking at Kadie with worried eyes. "Are you drunk?" Elena asked, hoping that her sister's answer would be yes. She was silently praying that Damon didn't turn her. She wouldn't care whether or not Stefan killed him at that point. She didn't like the thought of killing other people, but if Damon really didn't have that much regard for human life he deserved to be stopped. Stefan didn't need to rehabilitate him, no. Damon needed a stake through his heart.

"He told me you wouldn't notice," Kadie slurred. Elena grinned at her reply and took her sister up in the strongest hold she could muster. Her sister slowly wrapped her arms around Elena, a lot weaker than the young cheerleader. "That… was not the response I was expecting," Kadie said slowly, her eyes travelling up and down the brunette's face. There was something definitely off in the world. Elena would never hug someone for being drunk.

Elena pulled her sister on the front porch and they both sat on the bench. Kadie didn't understand why her sister kept cupping her face and checking her eyes. "You're a wreck," Elena finally spit out. "I'm so glad you're okay that I can't even be mad at you." Kadie smiled weakly.

"Feelings," Was all that she could say. It was weird, being so close to another person. It wasn't the touching or the contact that made her uncomfortable, no. It was the fact that she could feel the love radiating off of Elena, and she wanted nothing more than to push her sister away and go back to the cemetery, with the friends that aren't dead. They can't be dead. Her stomach turned and she felt like she was sick; uncomfortable. Kadie would never be able to handle feelings, not even from her own family. She hated them more than anything else. Life was supposed to be fun and in order to do that, she had to ignore every single thought in her mind and that included the good ones. When she was able to think, Kadie was filled with… Emptiness. The kind of emptiness that angers her and makes her long for any sort of emotion, but it never comes. It's not because she's not loved and not because she doesn't love. It's just there, and she has to try her hardest to feel anything. She put guards up way too early on in life and has subconsciously kept them up since. They're so strong it's hard for even her to break down.

"Don't care," Elena replied, taking her sister in for another hug. Both of their eyes locked on the person walking up the steps. Kadie swore that she saw blood on his shirt. "You're bleeding," was said before Kadie could convince herself that she was just seeing things again. Elena had to ruin whatever false hopes that she had in keeping herself from believing anything that happened that day. Stefan's eyes landed on the blonde.

Elena stood up and took Stefan in her arms. "No, it's okay. I'm okay." He paused, a frown forming on his naturally upset face. "I couldn't stop her. I tried." He was uncomfortable talking about this in front of Elena's sister, but she didn't care. Damon must have told Kadie when he was holding her hostage. The raven-haired brother was making Stefan's life in Mystic Falls so much harder than it needed to be.

"What does that mean?" Elena asked, pushing her dark brows together.

"She fed, and then I lost her." Elena went into shock.

"Oh, my God." Stefan then walked over to Elena's sister. "She's okay. Damon didn't do anything to her, I checked."

"Does she know?" Stefan asked. If she did know, he could compel her to forget. Her calm eyes told him that she couldn't possibly know. Most humans freaked out after their first encounter with a vampire, especially one as violent as Damon. "What am I?" Stefan asked Kadie.

"You're not serious, are you?" Kadie laughed out, her eyebrows raising in disbelief. Her mouth was open in a partial smile and her eyes were wide. To anyone else, it would look like she was mocking Stefan and his brother for believing themselves to be vampires. "You're a freaking vampire?" Kadie laughed again. "Wow, you've got to be kidding me." Elena looked worried and Stefan looked pained. Neither of them said anything as Kadie pushed past them and went back inside. "I'm going to go to sleep. You guys kept all of my things, right?" Elena nodded, her face frozen with worry. She looked like she was about to break down. Kadie ignored that, though, and went straight for the stairs to sleep off all of the thoughts of vampires and insane people.

.:::.

Elena was close to breaking down. She didn't want her family involved with her messy life, and Kadie went and got herself mixed up with an insane vampire. She wanted nothing more than to protect the remaining members, but she didn't know how. She was weak standing against the vampires, and she was mentally weak standing against the world. There was nothing that she could do other than cry and hope that they'll listen to her, but neither of them ever does. She's trying to put all of their lives back together, but can't, and she knows that it's because their parents aren't there to talk to them. Jenna doesn't know how to handle them. Elena isn't a parent. She doesn't need this. Elena choked on a sob. "I gave you today, just like you asked. And I understand that you would never do anything to hurt me. And I promise I will keep your secret, but… I can't be with you, Stefan. I'm sorry, I…. I just can't."

Stefan nodded. He didn't fight for her. She wished with every fiber of her being that he would talk her out of it. Instead, he accepted that she didn't want to be around him anymore. It had been such a short time that they were together, but he pulled her out of the dark. He showed her what it was like to be happy again and they were working on it together. He was keeping her head together while she dealt with everything going on in her life. He was the only light in the dark that had been around for so long. Elena is strong and caring, but she can't handle what life is throwing at her. Elena walked inside and closed the door behind her, letting the tears freely slide down her face as she slid down the wall. She couldn't do anything.

Instead of walking upstairs into her room, she knocked lightly on the door to a room that had been unoccupied for nearly four years. Her twenty-two year old sister had moved out the first chance she got at the age of eighteen and into a cheap apartment in the bigger part of Mystic Falls. She could hear a faint "come in", signaling that it was okay to walk into the room. Elena walked inside with tears rolling down her face. Kadie wasn't the person that people normally went to whenever they had problems. She was uncaring and blunt. But she didn't say anything when her sister crawled into bed with her and wrapped her arms around her waist. Kadie accepted the hug as reality finally hit her. She wasn't as drunk as she thought she was, and she wasn't insane from taking all of those pills. Elena thought her boyfriend was a vampire- was convinced. She was the only reasonable person that Kadie had ever known. If they convinced Elena, then they could convince Kadie to. Her friends were dead. All of them. Kadie tightened the hold on her crying sister. She'd known them for years. They all grew up together and helped each other. They fell out over the years, but they were still around for each other. Dead.

Kadie couldn't let herself cry. Especially not in front of her little sister. Instead, she snuggled deeper in the pillow and fell asleep to the soundtrack of Elena crying.

.:::.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES!**

So, this is my first story! I know that she seems a bit rough on the edges, so sorry to anyone that might offend. She'll most likely be getting better as the story progresses. I don't own The Vampire Diaries. I do, however, own Kadie Gilbert. I might throw in some more original characters, but I highly doubt it. Anyway, tell me what you think and how I'm doing? I don't want to get anything wrong, so if I am pretty please let me know. I'll post the second chapter as soon as I get two reviews. Same with every other chapter.


	2. Millstone

**2. MILLSTONE.**

The sun beat down through the dusty, deep blue curtains. It filled the entire room completely before shining on the closed eyes of Kadie Gilbert. The snoring body beside her was completely shielded by the sideways body, but once the sun caught onto her she couldn't go back to sleep. Kadie groaned and pushed herself off of the bed, tumbling over and taking part of the equally deep blue sheets with her. She could hear Elena growing on the bed and then the sheets around her tugging in an attempt to bring them back up. Kadie pushed a few messy strands out of her dark eyes and sighed, still not fully awake.

Kadie untangled herself from the sheets and grumbled as she stepped for the bathroom. Her breath was awful. Morning mixed with alcohol never went well for her. As she stepped into the bathroom, she saw her little brother. His brown eyes lit up and he wrapped his arms around her waist. Kadie couldn't return the affection. It was way too early in the morning. "We thought you were dead," He repeated Elena's words from the night before. Then it all came crashing down on her like a hurricane. She couldn't do anything about it.

"Yeah…" Kadie replied, looking down at the ground. She didn't know what else to do. Jeremy's eyes softened. "What are you doing up so early?" Kadie asked him, checking out the area around. Jeremy's expression went tight when he remembered what he was supposed to do that day.

"I'm going to the police station. They're organizing a search party for Vicki." Kadie looked up at him and furrowed her eyebrows. Her black eyes connected with his chocolate brown ones.

"Vicki is missing?" Jeremy looked down with sad eyes and Kadie sighed. Everyone in her family seemed to be going through a rough patch. Elena was either with psychos or vampires- hopefully not the latter- and Jeremy was missing the only girl he'll probably ever love. First love is the hardest to get over, and Vicki had been trailing him around like a lost puppy. It didn't look like Jeremy minded in the least.

"Yeah. Do you wanna come with?" Kadie shook her head.

"Keep me posted, though, okay?" Jeremy nodded and smiled at his sister. Just then Elena walked over to them. She stood behind Kadie, but was still noticeable. She brushed perfectly straight brown hair behind her ear and looked at the two of them strangely.

"Shouldn't you be going to school?" Elena added, looking at him like he was doing something wrong. If her worried glances were any more obvious, she would have been screaming her true intentions in his face. They had done something with Vicki. Kadie heard Stefan mention something about her the night before. She was with Damon and Stefan, and Elena was trying to keep it from Jeremy. Kadie didn't understand why, but didn't question her. She knew better than to step into family business she spent so long avoiding.

"What?" Jeremy was baffled that his sister would even think such a thing. "You're kidding me, right?" His face was in the same funny shock that Kadie's was in the night before. His eyebrows were pressed together and he shook his head, pressing past his sisters.

"You shouldn't skip school," Elena tried again. "If they find her, we'll know. That's what cell phones are for." Elena looked desperate as she called after her brother.

"Yeah, your lips keep moving. I don't know why." Jeremy sent an apologetic glance at Kadie before jogging down the stairs. Elena huffed and pushed past Kadie into the bathroom. Since it wasn't anything that Kadie hadn't seen before, she went into the bathroom as well. She started looking through drawers and cabinets until she found mouthwash and poured some in her mouth, swishing it around until it didn't feel disgusting anymore.

Elena rubbed her temples before looking over at the sister as she spit the blue liquid into the sink. "I'm going over Stefan's," She started. Kadie didn't really want to be anywhere near the psycho, but she figured she was owed some sort of explanation for everything. She also didn't want to leave her sister alone with a bunch of freaks, if that's what they really were. Kadie had seen a person lose their mind and knew that they tended to get violent. The lack of bruises on her sister's arms reassured her, but not enough to not want to go along with her. "Do you want to come?" She looked uneasy next to Kadie.

"Why not?" Kadie grinned. "The more the merrier, right? It's every big sisters' dream to hang out with their little sisters and their boyfriends. Just promise me you won't do any of that romantic mess while I'm around? It's just gross." Elena laughed along with her older sister. Kadie took in some more of that mouthwash and swished it around once more. She wasn't convinced that her breath wasn't absolutely awful.

.:::.

Elena let Kadie borrow some of her clothes. She was wearing a cream jacket that didn't suit her and under that, another red jacket and a white t-shirt that fit snug around her small waist. For pants, she had on some normal light-colored blue jeans. She was thankful that her sister let her borrow something, but she didn't look right in it. Her long, messy hair clashed with it all somehow. The dark circles around her eyes and leftover black makeup from a couple nights before made her look like she had just gotten out of prison and those clothes were all they had to offer her. Kadie sighed as Elena knocked on the front door of the Salvatore house. Everything made so much sense as she stood there, waiting for the man that killed all of her friends to open the door. She wouldn't let that get to her. She couldn't.

Damon slowly opened the door and leaned against it, observing the two girls. Kadie had a hard time holding eye contact with him. Either way, he killed all of her friends and didn't know what she was supposed to do about it. If she called the cops, what would happen? How would she tell them she knew he killed them, and what would Elena say? There was no evidence against him. There was just her word; a liar's word. "Is Stefan here?" Elena asked, peering around the crease between him and the door. There was nothing there.

"Yep," Damon replied, popping the 'p'. He looked so at ease with himself. He didn't care that he took their lives. If he was psychotic, could he remember what he did properly? How did he manage to kill them all, anyway? Jared was strong and had already been shot before. He could stand the pain and save himself. He would have done that. The man had to be unnaturally strong in order to kill them all. Tony was the same. He was as tough as nails, and Melissa would have stopped at nothing to rip off the head of the man attacking them. They all would have ganged up on Damon and left him a beaten, bloody mess. They weren't helpless prey to anything but a-

Kadie regretted her thoughts.

"Where is he?" Elena stepped forward, pushing her way into the Salvatore home. Damon smirked at the girls. Kadie followed her sister inside of the house and Damon closed the door behind them.

"And good morning to you, little miss 'I'm on a mission'." He was confident and composed. He had the same darkness that attracted Kadie to him originally. This time, though, it was warning her to stay away. How could she not hate him? Those were her friends that died at his hands. Still, there was nothing inside of her. She was just as empty as she'd always been. She lost the only people that stuck with her other than family, and not even sadness was hanging around. The shock had hit her and she let her guard down temporarily, but there was nothing shortly after that. She would have been upset at her lack of feelings. She knew that they were there. Why couldn't she feel them?

"How can you be so arrogant and glib after everything you've done?" Elena spat, glaring at him. Kadie made a mental note to congratulate her sister for being a role model in life. She was brave to stand up to a psycho killer.

"And how can you be so brave and stupid to call a vampire arrogant and glib?" Elena's eyes went over to her sister, who didn't seem fazed by his claims. She had been turning over the idea in her head for long enough. She still wasn't sure what to think, but she couldn't make a big deal out of it. If her sister felt safe around them, then shouldn't she as well?

"If you wanted me dead, I'd be dead," Elena replied. She was staring him down. His vibrant blue eyes were locked with hers, dangerously flickering across her features. Kadie, despite knowing all that he had done and his possible mental disease, found him incredibly beautiful. Not the kind of beautiful that most people could comment on when they notice someone physically attractive, but the kind of beautiful that was so broken and misunderstood it was hard not to want to stare forever at it. His darkness gave him beauty, and those eyes gave it all away. The color was bright and vibrant, sure, but the emotions behind them were what made them stand out the most.

"Yes, you would," Damon smugly agreed.

"But I'm not."

"Yet," Damon added. Elena's features went from calm to nervous. She backed away from him and looked around the living room. Kadie was still standing in the hallway leading to the front door.

"Where is Stefan?" Elena asked again.

"He's upstairs singing _The Rain in Spain_." Damon moved to let her pass him. "Knock yourself out." Elena began heading through the house, navigating it with unfamiliarity. Kadie realized that she'd never actually travelled through Stefan's house before. She figured it was because he was trying to protect her from his psychopathic brother, but then again he thought he was a vampire as well. Maybe he just didn't want her hanging around the house. Elena called Stefan's name a couple of times before he appeared. They were all still downstairs.

"Yes?" Stefan's eyebrows were low on his forehead, and his eyes were flickering between Elena and Kadie. It was obvious that she already knew their secrets. Kadie just wasn't sure which one she would be keeping. They're either vampires or they're all insane.

"Where's Vicki?" Elena asked. Stefan put his finger to his lips and looked upstairs, checking to see if Vicki had overheard. Kadie remembered that Jeremy, her little brother, was out searching for the woman that was still in the same town as him. They all thought that she was dead. How would he feel if Elena ever did decide to let him know that they're practically keeping his girlfriend hostage? Would she ever?

"She's upstairs," Stefan replied in a low voice.

Elena was clearly frustrated. "What happens now? Because my brother is out there searching for her with the rest of the town. What do I tell him?" Kadie wasn't comfortable with being there. She didn't need to know anything about Elena's personal life or the brothers' personal life. All that she needed to know was that her friends were dead and she should be looking for Vicki with the rest of the town, not keeping her whereabouts a secret. She wanted so badly to call Jeremy and tell him that his girlfriend was safe, but she couldn't. They were all keeping secrets and acting strange for a reason.

"I'm working with her," Stefan reassured. "But it's gonna take time. She has a very volatile and impulsive personality. She's a drug user." Elena's eyes went to her older sister. She couldn't have made it any more obvious. "I mean, all that's gonna play a part in how she responds to this." Elena crossed her arms out of discomfort. She didn't know what else to do with them.

"So, she's a vampire with issues? What am I supposed to do? Because I'm lying to everyone that I care about." Her eyes flashed to Kadie yet again. "What's gonna happen to her?"

"I'm gonna keep her here until I know that she's safe," Stefan replied, eyeing the blonde. He knew that she and Vicki were friends. Everyone knew the type of people that Vicki hung out with, and Kadie was one of the ones she spent a lot of time around. They worked together. Kadie didn't understand why they kept acting like she was standing there for something really serious. It wasn't like she wasn't dragged into this mess. Elena asked her to come along for reasons Kadie would never understand. Maybe to make her feel safe or something. Kadie didn't know.

"How long is that?" Vicki called from the staircase. She was leaning against the rails, staring down at the three people talking. Elena looked up at her with concerned eyes. She cared too much for one body.

"We can talk about that later," Stefan told her. They were all looking at her now. Vicki had the same look on her face as always; halfway between happy and having serious attitude problems.

"Hey, Vicki," Elena started, unsure. "How are you?" Vicki snorted.

"How am I? You're kidding, right?" Stefan looked to Elena and she back at him. They were too serious. All that she wanted was all of her friends back, and Vicki to return to whatever normal teenager she was. She wasn't supposed to be hanging out with these people and pretending to be a vampire as well. Soon enough, they would have Elena convinced. Kadie didn't want to be around any of that.

"I'm gonna head out. You're okay on your own, right?" Kadie asked Elena, waiting for her to nod and give her a small hug before practically running out of the house. Stefan had somehow convinced himself he's a vampire, but he cares about Elena. He'd do anything to protect her, right? He might have read Twilight one too many times, but at least he was willing to do anything for her.

Kadie didn't feel comfortable leaving her sister completely alone, so she stuck just outside of the boarding house. She leaned against the brick wall and crossed her arms, trying her best to fit the pieces together with an open mind. Maybe vampires actually could exist, and those people in there aren't crazy. If they didn't have proof, Elena would have laughed it off and moved on. They must have some sort of proof that they're dangerous killers. Elena knows that Damon killed all of her friends, right? And she's still going around them? She must know that he's something more than human. She would have called the police. Her sister cares a lot more than that, even though Kadie's friends weren't all that perfect. Elena's heart was too big to let that slide. She would have called the cops if they weren't vampires. She wouldn't have gone back to that house if they weren't vampires.

"Holy shit…" Kadie breathed out, hugging herself. She didn't feel comfortable in her own skin, not bearing that kind of knowledge. That was just too much for one person to comprehend. How Elena did it was beyond Kadie. She didn't know what she was supposed to do with that information. Should she continue living life like she had been, or should she go into vampire hunting mode and protect herself? Buffy could do it. But then again, Kadie was nothing like Buffy. The blonde cheerleader had always been athletic and then she was called upon for a sole purpose. Kadie just happened to be getting high with her friends when one of them found her; Kadie's sister just happened to be dating one. Maybe she could find a guy like Spike, knowing now that they're around. She always wanted someone like him. She'd wake up at 5 every morning instead of 7 just to watch him and Buffy have sexual tension. It made her day.

Elena burst through the Salvatore front door and saw her sister leaning against the wall. Without saying anything, she jumped into her older sister's arms. This was the second time she saw Stefan and ended up crying. Kadie sighed. They sure did have one complicated relationship. She comforted the teen for as long as she could before they both got into her car and headed home. The ride was silent, for the most part. There weren't any words that needed to be said. Kadie had an idea of why Elena was freaking out, and Kadie was too composed for Elena to even worry. She didn't want her sister to be pulled into her crap- neither of them did. Somehow, family always gets involved. It's impossible to keep a Gilbert out of one's life if they care enough to enter it. Kadie didn't know that she cared. She just knew that, somehow, she was there for her little sister, despite trying her hardest to get out of that family. She'd always be there.

Kadie pulled into the driveway and looked down at her clothes. She was still wearing the ones that Elena let her borrow. The shirt looked awkward on her, and the pants were a little bit too long. Her sister had a much better style than Kadie did, but she didn't look right in it. She didn't look right in anything other than clothes that showed her personality off and hid her body; clothes she could be comfortable in. "I'll give them back to you later, I swear." Elena shook her head and laughed.

"I don't wear them anymore." Kadie frowned. She didn't want to keep her little sister's clothes, but didn't object. What was she supposed to say to that? "Do you want to come to the Halloween Carnival at the school tonight? I'm taking Jeremy to try and get his mind off of Vicki. You should come too." Kadie felt the guilt stirring in her stomach. She just showed up in her sister's life and planned on leaving yet again. She nodded.

"Yeah, sure. I'll see you there." Elena smiled and reached over to hug her sister. The both of them got out of Elena's car. Kadie ended up having to walk home, where she could sort through her thoughts properly. She didn't know what she was supposed to do. She was so used to being on her own. She was so used to not caring about anyone other than herself. Her sister depended on her to be in her life, even though that wasn't how she was. The kind, caring person was not Kadie. She couldn't be that person. Kadie walked into her home and pulled out a green tank top made of fake leaves and a matching skirt. She was going to fake that person.

.:::.

The blonde didn't look anything like a female Peter Pan. Her hair wasn't nearly as dark orange as the man's, and her outfit didn't match his at all. On the box when she bought it the person posing deceived her. The person didn't have hair nearly as bright as hers, or a body shaped like hers either. Kadie was pretty much buying a costume under the impression that she would magically look like the person in the picture. Maybe that was why people shopped more online; they could pretend that they will look like that person instead of trying the dress on and seeing reality. Kadie had slipped on some fishnets under that and black shoes that folded over on the sides. Apparently, those were pretty in style.

Kadie walked through the crowd of people in search of her little sister or brother. There were people in costumes all over the place, but none that she recognized until she spotted Vicki. She was pulling Jeremy along, wearing a vampire costume that was hilariously ironic. Jeremy, however, went as himself with a hood pulled up. He was no fun. But that wasn't really the time to be thinking about those things. If they were all really what they said they were- Kadie was having a hard time coping with that-, then Jeremy wasn't safe around her. There was a reason they didn't want the two seeing each other. Kadie followed after them.

After around one minute of following, she lost sight of the vampire and her hooded brother. Kadie turned her head in all different directions before running into a nurse. "Did you see Jeremy?" Elena asked. Her breathing was hard.

"He was going somewhere with Vicki. I lost him." Kadie tried to ignore the worry starting to build in her stomach. She was involving herself in their lives. This was inevitable. She still felt uncomfortable being there, knowing that she had gone to spend family time with her brother and sister. That wasn't like her. She would rather go out to the cemetery and hang out with her friends some more, because Melissa's bitchy voice was hard to get away from for more than a week. She could have ended up dragging them there and they would hang out in the back, probably passing around a drink and receiving dirty looks. It would have been fun, with them around.

Elena's chest rose and fell rapidly. "We have to find him," She said, frantically looking around. Kadie nodded and started off in the last direction he and Vicki went. Elena was the first to push through the open back door. She ran outside and turned her head to the left, catching Vicki and heading for their little brother. "Vicki no!" She screamed, lifting up one of the pieces of wood on the ground and swinging it at the vampire. Vicki easily blocked it and headed for Elena, throwing her into the pile of garbage. Kadie stared at the girl. If she didn't believe before, she certainly did now. Black veins were protruding from underneath her eyes and she had fangs. Actual fangs. Kadie took in a deep breath as her friend advanced. She quickly ran in front of Elena.

Before Vicki could attack the two, Stefan had Vicki by the throat. His eyes looked just like hers, dark with veins surrounding them. Kadie blinked a couple of times, trying to believe what she was seeing. She hadn't had a single thing to drink or take that day. She'd been living through her life like a normal person, for one day. She couldn't have been hallucinating. The grunting teenager behind her confirmed it.

Stefan had Vicki pressed up against the bus. "Vicki!" Jeremy yelled. It was just enough to distract Stefan and allow Vicki to escape. She disappeared before Kadie could blink again. She gasped.

"GO! Get inside! Now!" Stefan yelled. Kadie picked up Elena and started to pull her inside. Elena grabbed Jeremy and before they could make it in, Vicki grabbed Elena. She let out a blood curdling scream as Vicki bit down into Elena's neck. If it hadn't been Halloween night and less people were screaming, they would have drawn attention to themselves. Before Vicki could do any real harm, Stefan came up behind her and staked her. Kadie fell over at the sight. That was her last friend. She had bitten into her only sister, and tried to kill her brother. But she was still the only friend she had left. She was young, impulsive and stupid but… Kadie breathed in.

Over and over again, Jeremy was screaming Vicki's name. Tears were rolling down his cheeks, similar to the ones on Elena's. Neither of them had ever seen death before, not like that. No one had ever seen anything like that, or should at least. Vicki's skin had turned gray and all of her veins stuck out, like she literally had the life drained out of her and all that was left was a statue. One feel of her skin, though, would tell Kadie that she was still very much human- or whatever she was. "Get him out of here," Elena choked. Kadie couldn't let the tears fall. They brimmed her eyes, but she quickly pushed them back in. The sadness only lasted for a moment. The incredible, ocean-like grief filled her heart and then was shoved away. She knew that someday all of these emotions would get back at her, but at that moment she didn't care. She didn't want to feel anything, so she didn't.

Stefan kept Jeremy away from the body as Elena kneeled down next to her. Kadie didn't know what to call it at that point. She'd never had to deal with witnessing a murder before. She'd been there when the rest of her friends died as well. And at whose hands were they all killed? Was she right to blame them for doing what was in their nature? All that she knew of vampires was that they brought death. They killed to survive, and they killed for fun. Kadie knew that Vicki didn't need to die. Stefan wasn't doing it for fun, though. It's either kill or be killed. That was the world that she was welcomed into. A dog eat dog kind of world, where if a person wasn't strong enough they would be discarded. Vicki wasn't strong enough, physically or even when it came to self-control. She had to be taken out of their world, and the only way to do it was a makeshift stake through the chest. Kadie blinked as she sat down next to her sister.

Elena was covering her bleeding neck as she continued to cry over a girl that tried to kill her. At least Kadie knew that Stefan would be there to protect her no matter what. He had been a part of that world for years. Kadie remembered when Damon told her when they died. He'd been like that for nearly 200 years, and he was still able to care for another person. She was glad that he had it in him. Kadie had only been alive for 22 and she barely wanted to care for her own family. Kadie wrapped an arm around Elena's shoulders and let her lean into her while she cried. Kadie's eyes remained dry. She didn't know what else to do. She felt empty, completely. Like she was a robot programmed to comfort a person, or her mind was completely wiped clean. Even her eyes were blank as she stared at the now-approaching vampire; the cause of all of her friends' deaths. She couldn't even find it in her to be angry at him. Elena, however, glared up at him with hate-filled eyes. "You did this. This is your fault," She accused.

Elena stood, bringing her older sister with her. She straightened her shoulders and didn't show any weakness to the psychotic vampire. He looked back at her with empty eyes. "You confuse me for someone with remorse." Elena lifted her hand to hit Damon but he easily stopped it from connecting with his cheek. His nostrils flared.

"None of this matters to me. None of it," He said. The anger in his voice told Kadie otherwise as she stood next to her sister, watching his eyes dance with anger and pain. The emotion that was once so well hidden burst out and into his eyes, burning like a cold fire. She still couldn't describe their color, or the intensity of them as he stared down at Elena.

"People die around you." Her voice was thick with emotion. "How could it not matter? It matters and you know it." Elena had guts. She was standing up to a vampire after seeing what one of them could do. She was looking him in the eye and challenging him, testing his anger. Elena lifted her hand again and this time he allowed it to connect with his cheek. She didn't look surprised. Her eyes were blazing with the same anger that had been in his. His nostrils flared yet again and his throat tensed.

"You need to leave." He pushed out. Elena stood her ground. "Your wounds are bleeding, and you need to leave." Kadie wrapped an arm around Elena's shoulders and slowly pulled her away. Elena didn't break the glare until she was no longer able to look at him without turning her head. Once she was away, the brunette let more tears fall from her light brown eyes. Unfortunately for them, Kadie walked them straight into a familiar blonde-haired, blue-eyed football star.

"Elena! Kadie! Have you guys seen…" Matt paused and looked over Elena's face and then the blood on her neck and clothes. "Whoa, what happened?" Elena put on the best fake smile she could muster, and it was actually believable.

"Nothing. Some idiot with some fake blood got me." They both laughed. "I'm gonna go home and shower." Matt sobered up after that and then looked the two Gilberts dead in the eye. He sighed in defeat.

"I… I can't find Vicki. She totally bailed on me." The disappointment in Matt's voice brought the emotions back. She couldn't bring herself to tell him what really happened to his sister, though. She didn't want to be the one to bring that sort of grief back to him. Kadie didn't want to have to look him in the eye and say that they killed his sister. Because, like it or not, she was a part of it. She was there from the start, and she was too drunk and fucked up to stop it all from happening. How could she tell him that?

"I don't know where she is," Elena lied with ease. Kadie was impressed at her skills, to be able to look Matt in the eye and say that knowing what they had just come from.

Matt let out another sigh as his shoulders dropped. "Is this what I'm in for?" He asked the two. "A lifetime of worrying about her?" Not if he knew what had really happened to her. Then you could cry for a while and move on. Kadie still didn't open her mouth.

"You're a good brother, Matt," Elena told him with a small, sweet smile. Not anymore.

"Yeah. Maybe she went home." Matt stared off into the darkness. He still couldn't bring himself to look at Elena, even after all of those years they spent being best friends. Kadie thought that they were going to be together forever. Everyone did. They were all shocked when she broke up with him, but they thought that she was going to go back to him as soon as they were all done dealing with the pain of loss. As soon as that happened, she found Stefan.

"Maybe," Elena agreed. They were both uncomfortable around him. Kadie didn't know if she'd ever be able to look at him the same. He wasn't a part of their world, though. She shouldn't have been a part of it.

"Okay," Matt said, giving the two an awkward smile before walking away. Elena and Kadie both let out a breath of relief, and then both walked to the car. Kadie let Elena use her as support. She put her little sister in the passenger seat and then drove her back to the Gilberts' home. They were both silent the entire ride there. Stefan was waiting on the front porch when they arrived. Kadie leaned back against the comfortable seat as Elena got out to talk to him.

"Where is he?" Elena demanded, running up to her boyfriend. Kadie didn't even think about how Jeremy felt in all of this. She wasn't thinking straight whenever he was around them all. Her mind was too caught up on the fact that she had just lost her last friend in the world. She would always have family, sure, but none of them would hang out in the cemetery with her. Jeremy would most likely quit now that Vicki's gone. Kadie was sure that the only reason he ever got into any of that was because he wanted to be around her more. Of course, there was the added pain of losing both of his parents so suddenly. Everyone was dealing with death, she guessed.

Kadie crossed her arms under her chest. "Inside," Stefan replied. Kadie walked over to the seat on the porch and sat on it, rocking herself back and forth as she waited for her sister to come back out with news on how he was doing. She pushed a long, straight strand of hair out of her eyes and blankly stared at the ground, ignoring the worried glances she was receiving from Stefan.

Stefan sat down as well. "Are you okay?" Elena asked. Kadie didn't want to reply. She didn't have it in her.

"I... uh… wanted to help her, but instead…" Kadie could feel the guilt radiating off of Stefan's broad shoulders. He didn't like killing people, either. She didn't know how he survived so long without the want to kill another person, but she knew that it was there somewhere deep inside of him, just like her emotions. They both shoved that need and want away and had yet to face the consequences. "How's he doing?"

"He's a mess." Elena sniffled. "I don't want him going through this again. He's just a kid." Stefan tensed next to her and Kadie lowered her head, putting it in her hands. There was still black on her nails, reminding her of the days before when she actually had Vicki around. She didn't know how the chipping paint related to the teenager, other than the fact that it was old and had chipped when she was showering; just before Vicki had. She wanted to scream like her little brother had done, but her emotions were back and forth. It would be pointless for her to try and let anything out, especially in front of other people.

"Elena, what can I do?" He took her face in his hands. "What can I do to help? I'll do anything." Elena was lucky to have him. She deserved someone like him, despite all of the bad that came along with him. He was nice and caring and strong, willing to protect her and stand by her side through thick and thin. Kadie never believed in true love, or at least not for herself, but that was it. They were good together.

"Can you make him forget?" Elena asked, looking into the vampire's eyes.

Stefan tensed and took a deep breath. "Elena-"

"Stefan, please," Elena begged. Kadie felt like she was chained to a chair, forced to watch and listen to some dramatic romance movie, where the girl was in intense pain and the boy could only do so much to help her. "I don't know how he'll ever get past this. I just want him to forget everything that happened." Kadie toyed with the charms her parents gave her.

"If I did it, there's no guarantee that it would work because of who I am; because of how I live. I don't have the ability to do it right." Kadie pulled at the cross, examining it. It was stained from the years of wearing it and sitting in the dirt. Most of the bracelets she wore were, but they all had some sort of meaning to her. She would need to get Jared's shirt off of the floor of her old room. She owed it to him to keep it, just like she kept all of her bracelets.

"I can do it." Kadie's head lifted and met the blue, fiery eyes of Damon Salvatore. Instead, they were like water. It was so hard not to see his emotions, see his soul. He had one. He may have killed all of her friends, but there was still something deep inside of him that cared. It made Kadie feel uncomfortable to see. "If this is what you want, I'll do it."

Elena's eyes were strong as she looked at him. "It's what I want." Damon stepped closer to the group.

"What do you want him to know?" Damon asked, his voice not as hard or arrogant. She would rather have the one that didn't show what he was truly feeling, the angry one that said he didn't care about the people he killed. Something inside of her wanted him to destroy whatever humanity she had left in her. Maybe it was the pain she hid away speaking, but she couldn't help but want to feel pain in any way, shape or form. She was addicted to everything, and she wanted it all right at that moment.

Elena looked away for a moment, trying to keep the tears from falling. "I want you to tell him that Vicki left town and she's not coming back. That he shouldn't look for her or worry about her. He's gonna miss her, but he knows it's for the best." Damon nodded and made his way inside. Kadie watched him walk through the door. She didn't know anything about him or his kind. She wanted him to be the darkness that she could revel in, but he may as well have felt just as many emotions as her sister. She didn't know why she was so against it, but she was. She didn't want love or friendship anymore. She wanted something that would make her feel destroyed inside. She wanted to be destroyed. Kadie longed for pills or a fight or something.

Elena looked over at her sister, signaling her that she wanted to be left alone with Stefan. Kadie nodded and walked inside of the house. She didn't want to walk home just yet. As much as she wanted to be alone where she could do whatever she pleased, her body was exhausted. The dark circles around her eyes were becoming more and more obvious, and her skin paler. She walked up the stairs and ran into Damon. They didn't say anything to each other. She could see the guilt in his eyes; the guilt that she didn't want to see. She blinked a couple of times and paused, staring into his blue orbs and waiting for him to hide it all again. He didn't. He couldn't. Kadie didn't know. She pushed past him and walked into her room, slamming the door behind her.

She pulled her hair into a messy bun and took off her Halloween outfit, replacing it with the shirt that Jared gave her. She threw back the blue comforter and slid into her bed, covering herself before she finally let it all out. Kadie covered her face with her hands and put as much pressure as possible, curling into a small ball and screaming into her hands. Her nails lightly dug into her face and her anger got the best of her, consuming her entire body to the point where all she could do was tense in the curled position. She wanted to jerk and twitch and throw punches until she fell asleep, but she just stayed there in the fetal position. Kadie screamed again when the anger was replaced with grief. It came over her in waves, washing over her like she was being drowned in cold water. That was what it felt like to her hot, angry body. Like being placed in the middle of an ice cube and having all of the air sucked out of her, replaced with a voice that wouldn't stop screaming.

Somewhere during it all, she heard another person open the door and come into the room. Elena wrapped herself around her sister as she went back and forth with her emotions. The brunette could only rub her sister's shoulder and back, trying to comfort her in any way. No one had ever seen Kadie like that, so she didn't know what to do. No one ever had to comfort the normally so calm girl. Tears spilled from Kadie's eyes and she dug her arms until she drew blood. She needed to feel physical pain. She had to. She didn't care that Elena was watching her and trying to pry her hands away from her arms. She didn't care about anything. She just needed to let it all out. Self-destruction was the only way that the woman knew how.

.:::.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES!  
**Wow, chapter two! I guess this one is pretty emotional at the end. Everything I write about I try to relate to. Of course there have never been vampires in my life, but there have been some pretty messed up people. I've been a pretty messed up person. Anyway, if you have any questions or objections to the way that I'm talking about doing these things feel free to review! I am not promoting drug use or drinking whatsoever. Just don't do it. I also don't own The Vampire Diaries. The only thing in this story that is mine is Kadie Gilbert. Tell me how I'm doing, maybe? I'll post chapter three as soon as I get two more reviews.


	3. Bite Me

**3. BITE ME.**

The afternoon came through and forced Kadie to pull a blanket over her head. That day, she didn't want to get up. The bed that she was in was unfamiliar to her, even though she spent most of her life sleeping in it. Her own skin felt unfamiliar. There was no one next to her, unlike the previous night she spent in the Gilbert home. Kadie sighed and covered her eyes with her arm, slumping back into the bed. She could feel the raw skin around her eyes stinging from being touched by the soft pillow, and her hair was sticking to the sweat on her neck. She felt awful; more than awful. She felt like she was dying, and she may as well have been. She should have been.

Kadie went downstairs after slipping on a pair of pants. Her entire body felt sick, and she wasn't sure if it was because the loss of all of her friends had really taken a toll on her mental stability the night before or if it was because she hadn't had a single thing to drink- or eat- yesterday. She spent it all with Elena, helping her out and trying to piece together the vampire problem. Was it really even a problem? Kadie didn't want it to be. She wanted them to disappear and let her live her life like she had been. A part of her wished that Damon never took her and Vicki that night; that they left the second that her little brother left. At least she would have the kid to hang out with, even though they were pretty different. She just needed someone, even though she didn't feel like she did. Too many deaths.

There, on the couch, sat Jenna Sommers. Her strawberry blonde hair fell past her shoulders easily, shaping her rounding face. She was perfectly sized for a woman, and sometimes Kadie found herself wishing that she could look like that and still look as beautiful as her aunt. She was young and wild- free to do as she pleased up until she had to take care of two teenagers. It was really taking a toll on her life, because she had no idea what she was doing. She was supposed to get married and have children of her own, not take care of the two her sister left behind. Kadie sighed. It'd been too long since she'd seen her aunt. "I didn't know you were here." Jenna grinned at Kadie. Her eyebrows shot to the tip of her forehead and she looked at Elena, most likely wondering who in the world convinced her to hang out with the family. Kadie was convinced she'd need to check herself into a psych ward as soon as possible. Nothing was average, and her emotions were fluctuating. Her mind seemed to be going in and out of reality and daydreaming. Kadie couldn't tell the two apart.

Jenna got up and wrapped her arms around Kadie, like she hadn't seen the blonde in years. "We missed you," She mumbled into Kadie's shoulder. It felt weird to wrap her arms around another person and comfort them, instead of herself. She didn't know how she was supposed to cope with the death of practically everyone that accepted her for who she was, and didn't give a fuck where she came from or what she planned on doing with her life. They hung out with her throughout high school and had her back whenever she got herself into fights. Melissa had broken a girl's nose once, for shoving Kadie aside whenever she was still new to them all. They were like a family outside of her family, up until they all graduated and Kadie became less and less herself. After a while, she didn't know what she was doing or thinking. She was just living with a fucked up mind and not caring who she hurt in the process. She could only hope that the one that ended up hurt in the end was herself, but self-destruction only gets a person so far. Kadie destroyed everything she touched.

"Nice to see you, too, Aunt Jenna," Kadie laughed out. Her smile was genuine, but she laughed because she felt the need to. It was subconscious for her to do so, whenever she found a situation amusing or she was supposed to find it entertaining. When everyone else laughed, she would laugh as well to make herself feel more normal and accepted. It never replaced the true things lying underneath, but it did well to keep people off of her case. She knew that Elena saw her break down. Being in the same room as her felt weird, knowing that she had showed some sort of emotion. It wasn't that she hated having people know that she was in pain, no, but the fact that Elena knew the truth behind it all unsettled Kadie to no end. "I should get going, though. I'll… uh… I'll be back later, alright?" Jenna nodded and smiled awkwardly, taking notice to Kadie's discomfort.

Kadie avoided eye contact with Elena as she hurried out of the home and back into the world. She went straight to the Mystic Grill. Just before she walked in, she checked the phone in her back pocket. There were ten voicemails. Some of them were from the friends the night before they all died, and others were from her boss. She listened to the ones from her boss and deleted all of the rest. She didn't need anything else reminding her that they were all dead, especially when she was so set on getting away from it all for a little while. _"You haven't showed up in the past four days, Kadie. You didn't bother to call in and tell me what has been going on. I had to find a replacement for you. I wanted to call you in, but you haven't been answering your phone. I'm sorry. You're fired." _Kadie sighed and flipped the phone shut. She figured this was going to happen. If anything in her life could go more wrong, she would be dead beside Vicki somewhere in the woods.

She waited outside of the Mystic Grill for what felt like eternity. She leaned against the wall and lit a cigarette, inhaling as quick as she could before blowing it all out. She didn't want to savor. She wanted to destroy and harm. She thought about what Stefan said when Vicki was turned into a vampire, about how she had some issues because of her drug use. Was that why Kadie couldn't think properly without taking those thoughts away from her? She didn't want to spend her time in reality. She couldn't remember a time in her life that she did. Maybe it was the pain killers taking away her memory. Her mother would be so sad to hear that her daughter doesn't remember her childhood. She'd had that taken away a long time ago. She held her breath for as long as she could, keeping the smoke inside of her lungs until it hurt. It stung when she released it, burning her insides instead of soothing them. That was what she wanted.

She relaxed and shut herself off before anyone else could see her. The cold wind blew her hair in her face and her gut twisted uncomfortably. The sky was gray and it all felt the same to her. She was wearing another outfit that she had to borrow from Elena. This time it was sleep pants that she was sure Elena stole from Jeremy, a tank top, and a large light gray sweater than Kadie was lucky enough to leave at her sister's house. She still had makeup on from the night before, but it was smeared and didn't look good in the least. It only darkened her already almost black eyes and blended in with the black circles forming around them. She looked like she just got out of the hospital from a serious disease. Her body was reacting with hatred for her not taking anything or eating anything while she was hanging around Elena. Normally, she could squeeze in a couple of fries here and there, if it didn't make her feel sick to eat. She didn't want to give her anything that might make her feel a little better. She wanted the pain. Her stomach was practically screaming at that point, and she didn't know where she found the power to stand and walk around. She was exhausted.

Kadie flipped open her phone yet again and looked through her contacts, pressing call whenever she found the name of the person she wanted. A couple of rings later, a woman's voice came on the other line. "_Hello?_" Kadie sighed.

"Hey, Aunt Jenna."

.:::.

**THE NEXT DAY**

"Wow, your apartment is…" Jenna couldn't find the right words to describe Kadie's apartment. It looked like someone packed up all of their nicer things and left what would be too heavy to carry. The mattress that Kadie slept on was on the floor in the room and without stylish sheets. It looked like she was using something that her grandmother got her a long time ago and never was able to let go of. The couch in the living room was obviously from the 90's and could have been mistaken for junk if Jenna didn't know any better. There wasn't food on the counters or in the refrigerator, and the dishes piled in the sink mainly consisted of bottles of alcohol and a few cups. It didn't look like anyone lived there, but Jenna knew that Kadie was there all of the time.

"Pretty cool? Yeah, I thought so too." Kadie was sarcastic as she grabbed a black backpack and started throwing clothes inside of it. She had to pick a few up off of the floor in her room because she rarely ever used the closet. For the most part, it was empty save for some old shoes that Kadie planned on leaving behind. "I'm sorry about this. Everything has just been kind of crazy lately." It surprised Kadie how easy it was to sound like this was perfectly normal. Her voice was easy and nonchalant, lazy as she spoke to the worried aunt. Jenna didn't know any better, so she smiled and started helping Kadie pack up.

"Don't worry about it. You know that you're always welcome in our home. I'm sorry about your job. Why didn't you call in?" Kadie shrugged and slung the backpack over her shoulder. Jenna finished with hers and did the same. There wasn't much to pack, so it wouldn't take the day for them to move out. She already had to talk with her landlord and had to work out a way to move out before the lease ended. She told him that she wasn't going to pay any more bills, and he said that she may as well pack up and leave. The conversation wasn't all that hard, but Kadie didn't want to have it anyway. She hated confrontation.

"I'unno. What happened just hit me really hard. I didn't want to do anything. Elena was there for me, though." Kadie's voice kept on with such ease. She didn't even know that she had gotten so great at pretending everything was fine and that she could actually feel something else. Her smile was so warm and her eyes shone when they connected with Jenna's. The innocent strawberry blonde accepted that kindness and took her in. She was so young whenever Kadie was born, and she was her first niece. Even with everything all out of whack, Kadie still looked like that little baby in her arms. They all did. It was hard to think of them any differently and let them all handle things themselves. "This should be it. Unless you think I should pack my bed too?" Kadie motioned towards the old mattress on the floor and Jenna laughed, shaking her head.

"I think the one at the house is a lot more comfortable." Kadie nodded and looked away, tensing her shoulders. Her smile disappeared for a moment as she looked down at the stain by the front door. She completely avoided the couch and stayed clear of her bed. She didn't look down whenever she walked in, but her eyes couldn't help but wander. They looked everywhere twice, dancing around the edges of the stain on the ground before actually landing on it. Her gut turned. She wasn't sure if it was from the hunger or the memory of Jared.

Jenna looked down at what she was staring at, not understanding the significance. She never would. Kadie wouldn't be able to open up like that. "I'm sure they won't mind if there are a couple of stains on the carpet." Jenna placed her hand on Kadie's shoulder and rubbed. It took a lot of willpower for her to not pull away from the touch. "Come on, kiddo."

Jeremy was waiting outside by the car. Kadie smiled at him and he smiled back. Neither of them addressed the fact that they were both there the night all of her friends were murdered. She knew that Jeremy had to have some questions- or maybe he didn't. Maybe the vampire tricks that Kadie still didn't understand completely changed him and made him forget everything he used to be. There was a large, innocent smile on his face and he looked healthy. He wrapped his arms around the blonde's shoulders and pulled her close. "I missed you, Kadie." Kadie pressed her eyebrows together and hugged him back. Was she ever really gone? Or was it just because they all thought that she was changing? She felt like she was leading them on. She was Vicki, trailing her little brother behind her while she pursued Tyler- the boy that Vicki had a hard time shutting up about.

"Missed you too, Jer," Kadie replied, patting his back. They released each other and Kadie slid into the back, next to the bags of clothes. She only had two backpacks filled with them; not a lot for one girl. The third had shoes in it and other things that she might need, like her laptop. In the very back of the car, behind Kadie's seat, was the television that the women convinced Jeremy to carry out.

After they were all buckled up, Jenna decided to take them all out to eat in what seemed like the only restaurant in Mystic Falls: Mystic Grill. Kadie was tired of looking at the place, but she didn't say anything as she went inside and sat in a booth across from Jeremy. She was on the inside, and Jenna placed herself on the outside. She felt awkward, sitting there with a family and eating like she had never done with both Jenna and Jeremy before. Back whenever Jenna first got her license, she would take Kadie out for birthdays and random occasions where she just felt like driving. Kadie never disagreed to doing any of those things. She never really had friends growing up, considering that she would rather run around pretending that she could see witches in the forest and that the abandoned house on the other side of the fence was occupied by an angry spirit. Most other kids thought she was weird. A few of them talked to her and played with her because she could imagine up the best games, but most of the time she stuck to herself. She didn't realize until that moment that she'd always been a bit weird and fucked. She looked a lot better then than she ever did as a child.

"Hi, my name's Todd. What can I get you to drink?" Jenna ordered a diet coke and Jeremy a regular one. Kadie gave him a tight lipped smile and replied with, _surprise me_. The teenage boy with dark, shaved hair smiled at them all as sweetly as he could and rushed off to bring them their drinks back. Todd was painfully average for a waiter. He had a kind smile and bright, young eyes. He wasn't around whenever Kadie worked there, telling her that they had her replacement serving them that day. _Wonderful_.

Jenna lifted her eyes and smiled; small, shy, and flirtatious. Kadie and Jeremy both turned around to look at who she was staring at. Kadie had never seen him before. He was older, probably around Jenna's age, with short blonde hair and soft eyes. He was eating by himself. Kadie blinked and looked at Jenna, who kept her eyes locked on him. "I like a man who can dine alone. A quiet strength."

"I thought you were still in that whole Logan depression thing," Jeremy replied, grinning at his aunt. Jenna's smile grew, but only a little.

"I've sworn off men forever, but it doesn't mean I can't observe them from a safe distance." Jeremy laughed. His eyes were sweet and better. He didn't look like he'd been into anything ever since Vicki died. Kadie knew that he would quit as soon as they were over. He didn't know that she was dead, though. When he figured out- if he ever did- would he go back to a life that he didn't belong in? He was so happy, sitting there across from his aunt. Kadie felt nervous sitting next to someone that didn't know his girlfriend died; that couldn't remember. Whatever Elena had Damon do, Jeremy looked like he would most likely never be sad again. The psychopath took the pain out of his life. Her gut turned. Would he be pained if he knew the truth?

"Well, I can introduce you." Jenna shook her head and looked down. Kadie sipped on the water that Todd brought her back, and she hated to say it but she definitely was surprised. Of all of the drinks that the Mystic Grill carried, she didn't expect for him to bring her back water. Todd did good.

After a few moments, the man that Jenna was staring at got up and walked over to the table. He noticed Jeremy and smiled. His eyes crinkled at the side and Kadie found herself admiring him like Jenna had done before. The only thing that she will ever like about an aging man is the way that they smiled and their eyes crinkled at the sides. It was the truth behind their smiles that made them looks so happy, and the crinkles that revealed that truth. Kadie bit down on the inside of her lip. "Mister Saltzman," Jeremy addressed him. The man patted Jeremy on his shoulder.

"Jeremy, what's up, man?" He kept his eyes on Jenna as he spoke. There was an obvious connection between the two. Kadie felt more and more trapped as the seconds passed. She wasn't as relaxed as she was when the day had started, and her nerves were slowly building up. Her chest felt like it was going to explode and she needed to move, possibly outside to smoke or something, and calm herself down.

"This is my Aunt Jenna," Jeremy introduced. Jenna smiled up at Saltzman and he took her hand.

"Alaric Saltzman. It's nice to meet you."

Jenna grinned and looked away, taking her hand back at the polite time. "Jeremy was just telling me about his paper. Thanks for giving him another chance." Kadie looked anywhere but the group and her eyes landed on a certain dark-haired psychopath at the bar; the man that practically took everything that she had and most likely drained it dry, beside the man that took the last thing that she had. She couldn't bring herself to be mad at either of them. The emptiness inside of her refused to let her blame anything, not even the ones at fault. Did they not know that those people had family and friends? Kadie wondered how Jared's mom took it. How his sister felt whenever the police knocked on their door and looked them in the eye. She knew that the two of them cared a great deal for him. Her and Jared were close growing up, so she went over there a lot and saw how his family worked. They were caring and sweet, the two of them. Damon didn't care, and for some fucked up reason that made her incredibly attracted to him. Because she didn't either.

"I'll be right back," She muttered. Jenna looked over and smiled softly. Jenna moved so she could escape from the booth, and she silently thanked her aunt. Kadie made her way over to the bar and sat down next to the vampire just as him and his brother stopped talking. She was wearing the same smirk that she had seen on Damon's face so many times before; a smirk that she could imagine him wearing as he killed all of her friends. She wasn't looking for revenge, but she wanted to destroy him. She wanted him to destroy her.

Kadie took a sip of her drink, knowing that he knew she was there. His shoulders tensed lightly when she sat next to him. "Hey there, American Psycho. You look like you could use some company. Still bored?" Damon looked over at her and smirked as well. Stefan's eyebrows pressed together whenever he saw the bold blonde. She had always been so quiet every time him and Elena were near her. They were never properly introduced, but he didn't want to be. Anything to do with Damon caused trouble, and this woman was talking to him like they were old friends. It made him uncomfortable.

"Nancy, hey. How've you been?" Kadie raised an eyebrow at him and her smirk turned flirtatious. Stefan still stood there, but neither of them cared. Damon wasn't too fond of his little brother. Besides, how could he resist a woman with no self-control and horrific taste in men? She knew what he was, and still she walked over to him and sat down. She knew what he had done to those people that she was with at the park, and even what he did to Vicki. She watched him snap her neck.

"Nancy?" Damon leaned in closer to her. His blue eyes were piercing her black ones, and he couldn't help but feel a little intrigued by how dark they were. He'd never seen a color like that before, like she had never seen a blue so bright. His smirk grew when she didn't fidget or pull away. She knew what she was getting herself into.

"Like it?" Kadie wrinkled her nose and pushed her alcohol away, remembering that she had went to the Grill with Jenna and Jeremy. She had to leave with them as well. All of her things were still in Jenna's dark blue car. She didn't know what she was going to do with the TV, but she couldn't leave it behind. The rest of her things would go back in her old dresser and then eventually it would scatter across her floor. She found it was much easier to dress when all she had to do was reach down and pick up anything that smelled nice.

"Do I look like a Nancy to you?" Damon chuckled and took her drink, downing it.

"Do I look like a murderer to you?"

Kadie raised her eyebrow. "That was a stupid question." Damon knew what he was doing by bringing that up. It didn't seem to faze the blonde sitting next to him. That was the fastest he'd ever seen anyone get over death. Most were lining up to chop his head off, unable to control their anger in his presence. He was cocky and arrogant. She wanted him to take her and make her feel something. Kadie didn't expect it to be positive. She didn't want it to be. "So, binge drinking and wallowing in your shitty life? Is this how you normally spend your nights?"

Damon shrugged and made a face. "Yeah, pretty much. Add in the average woman with low self-esteem and poor judgment, and my night is done." Kadie laughed. It seemed so natural as it rolled out of her chest. She leaned forward and tapped her fingers on the wooden bar. Stefan was still staring at them. Kadie completely ignored his presence. She had other things on her mind.

"Well, have you finished your night yet?" Damon eyed her.

"Yep." He popped the 'p'. Her smirk returned.

"Your house?"

"Yep." He popped the 'p' again. When Damon stood, Kadie stayed seated. Her eyes fell on the aunt that was still talking to Alaric. She didn't actually plan on leaving them. Nope, just messing with the man that messed with her routine life. If he actually expected her to sleep with him after he said she had low self-esteem and poor judgment- which honestly she kind of did, but that didn't matter-, he was a bigger idiot than Kadie had first expected. She ran her finger down his spine and caused him to shiver. He turned around and crashed his lips against hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he placed himself between her legs. If she cared about what other people thought of her, she would have been embarrassed at their display. She tangled her fingers in his hair. After 200 years of practice, Kadie had to admit he was a pretty good kisser. Unfortunately for him, it wasn't going any further than that.

Kadie smiled against his mouth and pushed him away. "I'll meet you back at your place. I gotta get some stuff done first, okay?" She made herself sound breathless and passionate. Damon's stomach turned when he heard her speaking to him like that. He didn't plan on doing anything other than biting into her and compelling her to go home. He didn't until they kissed. There was something in it that made him feel weird. It was great. He hated that.

"Alright." Damon kept his mask on and he turned back to his glaring brother. Stefan didn't want Damon involving himself with anyone in Elena's life, but this girl walked up to him and willingly got herself into their mess. Kadie winked at them before walking back over to Jenna.

Kadie linked her elbow wit Jenna's and smiled at Alaric. His smile seemed forced whenever she arrived. "I'm going to head home. You two have fun." Jenna gave her a large smile and silently thanked her niece for allowing her to have fun. Jenna handed her the car keys to let Kadie drive home. She winked at her aunt as well before sauntering out of the Grill, with absolutely no plans of going to the boarding house. She wondered how long he'd be there when he finally did leave, waiting for her to show up. Him and Stefan seemed to be in a serious conversation whenever she left. Well, Stefan seemed serious at least. Damon was just Damon.

When she got back to the house, she unpacked all of her bags. It was empty, save for Jeremy who was looking through boxes in the living room. They smiled at each other when Kadie walked up the stairs, but neither of them said anything. She felt weird living with her aunt in the house her parents raised her in. She never expected to have to go back there. Even if she did lose her job, she always had something to fall back on. She had Jared and Melissa and even Tony- who was practically living life to the fullest in his nice van/home. She didn't ever plan on returning to the house that her family lived in. It made her uncomfortable, like she was spending the night at a distant grandmother's house while she sang to opera all night long. It was annoying and weird at the same time.

After Kadie was done unpacking everything, she undressed, showered, and opened a window. She lit a cigarette just for the hell of it. She had done it so many times before that she was sure it no longer mattered. If her walls were ruined, they would have fallen apart years ago when she didn't bother to open a window in fear that her parents would catch her; back when she was still considered a delinquent.

She sat in her window for what felt like hours, staring out at the stars and smoking to try and take the edge off of things. A whoosh sound came from the right and she looked, blankly staring at the vampire that super sped into her room. She would have been surprised if she didn't expect every single thing that she'd ever learned about vampires to apply to them. She'd already seen Vicki practically disappear. She gave him a small smile. He looked wrecked, with a bloody shirt and broken eyes. Why would he go there? "You look like you could use a drink," She commented. Damon tilted his head back, pushing back the hunger as best as he could.

What the hell was he doing there? His night went from bad to worse. Bonnie let the stupid witch take everything from him. Every chance that he had of breaking Katherine out of that tomb was destroyed with that stupid necklace the stubborn, bitchy witch would not give him. He halfway expected to see the young blonde sitting on his couch in the living room, drinking his scotch and enjoying herself like she had at the bar. He could imagine all of the things that he wanted to do to her. He wanted to kill. No, Damon needed to kill. He ran a rough hand through his messy black hair and smirked. "Are you offering?"

Kadie's heart raced at the thought of the pain he could bring her. She wanted to hurt. No, she needed to hurt. Adrenaline pumped through her excited veins and her smile grew, more real than it had been in months. "Bite me." Before she could object, Damon had her pressed up against the wall. His lips lingered a hair's length away from her neck. She could feel his breath brushing against her neck, cold and short. And then he bit down. She flinched at the pain and closed her eyes, grabbing onto his shoulders as tight as her weak arms could. Her nails dug into his rough shoulders. He didn't notice. She didn't care.

.:::.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES!  
**I'm so unimpressed with this chapter, and it's way short. I'm so sorry. I've been trying to write it for a while now but I've had some serious blockage. I couldn't really think of anything, and it feels like I rushed this when it took me quite a few days. I wanted to establish some sort of relationship between Damon and Kadie, one that was and wasn't based off of negative emotions. This is kind of the chapter that I wanted to do that with. I might come back and edit it later, if it is unpleasing to a lot of people. I keep looking over it and I hate it. But I think this is keep-worthy. So just tell me what you think, maybe? I'll post the fourth chapter as soon as I can!

I do not own TVD.


	4. Wrecked

**4. WRECKED**

The blonde didn't want to go to the career fair. Kadie didn't go whenever she was in high school, and she never planned on going after it was over. All of the desks and rude and smiling people made her uncomfortable. It was hard to push past crowds of people rude enough to block a doorway without pissing a few people off, and there were a lot of people that Kadie graduated with standing around their younger siblings and parents. Mystic Falls had big get-togethers every time something interesting happened; every time something uninteresting happened, even. The cream walls surrounding her seemed to sink in and the lights above her were dimming by the second. She had lost a lot of blood the night before, and her oncoming headache didn't help the weak feeling in her bones.

Jenna pressed against Kadie's shoulder and ducked down, hiding her face from someone in the crowd. The bite from the night before stung, reminding Kadie that she had made a mistake. He left as soon as she started feeling like she was going to faint without even saying goodbye. Kadie was glad that he wasn't one for talking. He hurt her, and then he left. That was a dream man if Kadie had ever known one. But that was where Damon would remain, and in that position they would say. He can leave bite marks as long as they're nothing but two people enjoying themselves. That was how Kadie wanted it to be. She didn't want to call him a friend. That just seemed wrong and a bit fucked; more fucked than her letting him sneak into her room the night before and take a bite out of her. "Hide me," Jenna pleaded.

Elena, who stood beside Kadie, stepped closer to her aunt. "What's going on?" She searched the crowd before her light brown eyes landed back on the cowering Jenna.

"The scum Fell has landed." Kadie smiled at the name she used to address Logan Fell. With his skinny, lean muscled body and curly light brown hair, Kadie figured that most women would be swooning to get a chance with him. Her aunt was one of the many women that fell for those sweet eyes and tight smile. The local news anchorman had a thing for sleeping around, and still bugged Jenna every now and again.

"Logan's here?" Elena asked as she searched the faces yet again. Neither she nor Kadie saw him. The tall, brown haired brooding man beside Elena pressed his eyebrows together. His face was serious yet again. It looked to Kadie like he could only smile around Elena, despite how nice he was to everyone around them. Something about him seemed off.

"Wait. Logan Fell?" Stefan stepped out into the hallway and looked around, tenser than usual. Elena, soon followed by Jenna and Kadie, rushed to his side.

"Stefan, what's going on?" Logan walked up to them and smiled, large and annoying. As attractive as he was, he was a basic douchebag. Under the definition of dick, most people would see Logan Fell's face; the literal version and the definition of the insult.

"Jenna, why are you dodging me?" Logan asked. Even his voice screamed awful person. Kadie didn't really care about that, though. All she knew was that her aunt had linked their arms and was constantly bumping into her side, another place that the lovely Damon had decided to claim with those sharp teeth of his.

Jenna glared at him and kept her shoulders straight. "It's a form of self-preservation."

"Why don't you two take Jenna elsewhere?" Stefan suggested, keeping his dark eyes locked on the still smiling anchorman. Something had happened between the vampires and the anchor-dick that had Stefan set on edge. Kadie didn't ask any further questions before grinning down at her aunt and leading her off. They walked further down the hall, rounding a corner before stopping. Elena was behind them the entire time.

"When Logan came to the house, what did he say?" Elena's eyes were hard, just as her boyfriend's were. Kadie realized that Elena was reacting a lot worse than she should have and caught on. Was Logan one of them? She couldn't really tell by looking at him because she still didn't know anything about vampires other than they tended to be a bit rough. Elena was the expert on them. Kadie watched her closely.

"Fake flattery, stupid dimpled grin, puppy dog eyes," Jenna went on.

Elena took a deep, shaky breath. "I'm serious, Jenna. How did he act? What did he say?" Could she be any more obvious? If Kadie knew anything about vampires, she would have done the questioning. Elena was freaking out and the entire world would have been able to tell. Her voice dropped and her shoulders shook.

Jenna gave her an odd look. "He's the usual Logan, charming, a little more maniac than usual. He kept trying to convince me to let him in." Elena's eyes widened. "What?"

"Ok, listen to me very carefully. Do not, under any circumstances, talk to him again. I'm serious, Jenna, like ever!" Jenna nodded and gave her another odd look. Kadie sighed. So the anchorman was a vampire and Elena was going to let the entire town know with just her body language. She just hoped that Jenna would never get caught up in any of that. She was too nice to fit into that entire dog-eat-dog kind of world. Elena was safe because Stefan was strong and would protect her until his death. Jenna wouldn't have that. Logan would use her as a chew toy and then leave her body somewhere on the street. He didn't seem like the kind of guy that would clean his own mess.

Alaric walked up to the group of girls and smiled. He had that rough, Indiana Jones type of look to him. Kadie smiled back, stepping away so the people that actually knew each other could talk. "Hey, Elena, Jenna…" He drawled out the last part, casting an expecting look at the blonde standing behind them. She smirked.

"Kadie," She finished for him. He rubbed the back of his head and smiled back down at Jenna.

"Hi, Mister Saltzman," Elena replied.

She gave Kadie a look and nodded her head towards the exit. Kadie nodded. "Excuse us," Elena said, giving her aunt an approving smile before taking her sister's arm and walking away. Alaric and Jenna most likely wanted to talk alone anyway, and Kadie didn't want to have to hover around her aunt the entire night. Kadie pursed her lips as soon as Elena stopped outside of the doors. She turned to her sister. "You need to stay away from Damon."

Kadie raised her eyebrows. "What?"

"Stefan told me that you and he were…" Elena was serious. She was trying to look into Kadie's dark eyes, to try and find something that might give her away, but there was nothing but amusement. "Did he do anything to you? Did he hurt you?" Elena reached out for the ripped up black scarf around Kadie's neck, pulling on it to reveal the bite mark. "I'm gonna kill him," Elena seethed.

Kadie laughed. "You should chill out some."

"Are you serious, Kadie? This isn't okay, and you're telling me to _chill_?" Elena hissed. Her face was lit by the light coming through the school doors. For most people, the scowl on her face and the lighting would have made them unattractive. Her sister was lucky in that department. More lucky than most other people would ever be.

"I've got it under control," Kadie reassured. Everything in her body was telling her otherwise. But Kadie didn't want to be in control. She wanted to let everything go and feel something every once and a while. That was what she always did. She'd go out and make an attempt at destroying herself for a little while by letting everything go to waste. That was what she was doing now. If she could feel some pain over their deaths- even if it wouldn't be their deaths causing her pain- she will. She will do it over and over again until the guilt stops haunting her. Because she's guilty. She really is. No matter how many times she will ignore that feeling in the pit of her stomach and feelings altogether, she is guilty somewhere deep, deep down and she knows it. It's her fault.

"_Under control_? Kadie, look at yourself!" Elena reached out to grab Kadie's arm but she shoved her sister away. The hurt flashed in her innocent, brown eyes and Kadie wondered why she even bothered at all.

"Stop seeing something that isn't there. This?" Kadie pulled down the scarf around her neck after making sure that no one was around to see it. Elena pressed her eyebrows together in confusion. She was so hell bent on protecting everyone and keeping everyone safe that she didn't even realize some people didn't need or want that help. She still couldn't see it. "This is under control." Kadie and Elena looked over at Stefan, who had just closed his phone and was staring at the two girls. They were girls to him, weren't they? "You should go."

Elena turned and looked at Stefan before facing her older sister yet again. "We're talking about this later," She stated in a voice that told Kadie it wasn't open for discussion. The blonde lifted her shoulders and let them lamely drop back down to the same, bored position. She shoved her hands in her black jean pockets. She didn't want to talk to her little sister about anything. Elena saw the good in everyone, even when there was no good to see. Maybe that was why she was so sure that Damon wasn't a bad person; maybe that was why she was so sure he was. Kadie pressed her lips together.

She was alone with her thoughts.

.:::.

**2004**

Kadie laughed and leaned her head on the shoulder of a taller man. There were dark circles around his deep brown eyes from the lack of sleep and healthy food. He was still there with her, though, laughing and smiling and watching a show that neither of them could understand. Jared wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her into him. There wasn't anything romantic in the gesture, but it was nice to share time with someone that knew what was on her mind; someone that knew what was on his mind. His mom was in the kitchen beside them, humming along to her favorite song on the radio. Both Kadie and Jared knew that it was her favorite because she would play it on a loop whenever she got the chance. "I want a love like Sid and Nancy," She told him.

"Why?" He laughed out. His brown eyes sparkled when he looked down at her and crinkled at the edges. He was alive, more alive than Kadie would ever be. "So you want to be stabbed to death by your boyfriend and then have him overdose? _Romantic_."

Kadie rolled her eyes. Her hair was much shorter then, and she had experimented and dyed a few strands of it black. It was awful and she immediately regretted it, but it was still there. They hung in front of her face, mocking her somehow. "It is." Kadie laughed and lightly hit his arm. In that moment, she could have fooled even herself into thinking that she had found happiness. She was sharing her inner thoughts with a man and laughing about them. It was forced, but so easy. It was like her subconscious mind had told her when the appropriate time to laugh was, and then forced it to come out of her mouth. "There was something in that broken man's eyes that screams he loved her. He had to. He was out of his mind when he stabbed her, and they never even found him guilty."

"We all know that he killed her. It's like that one guy. He got off because the lawyer was a prick, not because he didn't actually commit the murder." She sat up on the couch and straddled him, pushing him back into the cushions. Her dark eyes looked into his and for a moment, her laughter ceased.

"Just imagine the kind of love that they had, so unstable and all over the place. She was the kind of girl that liked to be hurt, that practically lived off of it and he was the kind of guy to hurt. It's perfect." Her smirk returned, forcing him out of the daze. It wasn't a secret that he had practically loved the girl most of their lives. She was complicated, though, and he would never be able to keep that all to himself. He wasn't even sure she had the power to do so.

"Are you that kind of girl?"

She laughed and pushed off of him. "No way. I'm the kind that likes to hurt." Kadie winked and pinched his arm, causing him to yelp and pull away from her.

His smile turned sly when he slid out from under her. He pushed himself back into a comfortable position on the couch. "Kinky." Jared winked. She hit him again. Everything was easier then.

.:::.

**2009**

The sadness that came with the memory was cut short when she turned her head to the side and noticed Caroline getting in a car with the man that everyone seemed to be trying to avoid. She was planning on smoking her last cigarette, but out of the corner of her eye she saw the black van and the vampire that no one wanted around. "Hey!" She screamed out. Logan snapped his head to the side and smirked, giving Kadie a small wave before hauling her off. Kadie ran forward as far as she could, but it wasn't enough. He was already out of the school parking lot and long gone. Kadie crouched over and sighed, holding her sick stomach. Elena ran up to Kadie and kneeled beside her.

"Kadie! Are you okay?" The brunette put a hand on her shoulder and rubbed. Kadie didn't know what she was supposed to do. Moving in was a bad idea. She could have done something else, couldn't she? Maybe Kadie just didn't want to work or do anything more with her life. Maybe she just wanted to stay 22 forever, never moving and doing anything else. All she could think about really wanting was pain, and she knew that that wasn't healthy. What kind of person would want that as much as she does and assume that it's okay? Her mind was slipping in and out of sanity and her body was slowly shutting down. Maybe that was what she wanted to happen. She was doing it all on purpose. For attention? No. Maybe it's for death.

"I got it under control," Kadie said. The words came out rougher and meaner than she meant them to. Elena understood, though, because that was what Elena did best. She understands everything and cares to the point where it's exhausting.

"C'mon." Elena wrapped her arm around Kadie's waist and pulled her up. After she was on her feet again, she lightly pulled away from her sister. Elena was still helping, despite how rude Kadie had been. She wondered why family even cared in the first place. She'd been like that for as long as she can remember, and Elena was still trying to pull her out of the darkness, place her on her feet, and show her a path that might not end in an early death. "Talk to me."

"Why?" Kadie straightened her shoulders. They both stopped in front of the doors to the hallway.

"You can either talk to me and let me help you, or you can sit there and let it destroy you, and don't tell me that it's not because you didn't used to be like this." Kadie blinked hard. If anything could have taken her back, it was Elena being forceful about something. Even the tone in her normally soft voice was hard and all of it was completely directed at Kadie. The blonde couldn't tell if she cared or not.

"I'm just sick." Kadie shrugged. "There's not much to say about it. Haven't you ever come down with a stomach virus?"

Elena rolled her eyes. "Jenna is busy with Alaric and Jeremy has gone off to God-only-knows where. I've got a lot on my mind and you're out ruining your life." Elena ran a hand through her hair, frustrated. "Just… is Damon making you do this?"

Kadie laughed. "How would he do that?"

"The same way he made Jeremy forget about Vicki's death." Somewhere deep inside, Kadie knew that this was what she wanted. It's always been what she wanted. This death and destruction had been what she'd always known. She couldn't remember what made her snap inside like that, so she blamed the only thing and person that she could; herself. Everything bad that has ever happened in her life was completely her fault. If she could think all about it, she was the first one to ever show Vicki pills. Jared was on a good path. Tony and Melissa would have been in college if it weren't for Jared. Kadie is the source of all things that had gone wrong in her life, directly and indirectly. None of them would be dead if she didn't drag them all down. Would her sister die as well? What about her little brother?

"So you think he compelled me to do what exactly?"

Elena leaned in. Her shoulders were less straight and her tone easier. "Don't let him hurt you, Kadie. Don't go near him. He's not a good person. He's not like us."

"Did you forget who I am already?" Kadie patted her sister's shoulder. "I'll be fine. Bloodsucker or not, I'm pretty sure my life will be exactly the same as always."

"Did you seriously just say bloodsucker?" Elena laughed.

"What? Am I not allowed to throw insults around?" Kadie's smile returned. The tension in her shoulders eased up, but her body still felt like falling over at any minute. She didn't know what she was supposed to do about that. As long as her sister was around, she couldn't do anything that might give her away. She felt dead inside. Not because of pain, no, but because there was nothing left. She would rather pain. "So how are you and Stefan?"

"We're… complicated," Elena replied. She wrapped her arms just under her chest.

"What? More complicated than him being way too old for you?" Kadie's smile grew into a smirk. "I was thinking about asking you about that. Does he act like he's incredibly old, or is he just like every other high school kid?"

They both started towards the school. Kadie opened the door for her little sister as she waited for a reply. "I don't know. I don't really think about it. He doesn't act like most normal people, but for the most part he's pretty… average."

Kadie rolled her eyes. "Sounds boring. So how come you don't have any nice little marks?" Elena blushed and Kadie winked. Elena didn't answer when they kept walking. Maybe he was like that one person off of Twilight, drinking animal blood and being all hot and broody. On second thought, they were a lot alike. Kadie pressed her lips tight together as they started walking closer. Maybe Stefan took on the look of modern vampire, and that look equaled becoming a complete and total… non-vampire?

"Stefan, I-," Elena started.

Kadie cut her off. "I'm going now. Later, kiddo." Kadie made her escape by turning the corner and stepping back outside. Everything seemed so much better during the night, but the lights around her were covering the stars overhead. It could have also been the clouds, but the school was completely lit up. She figured if she walked further into the forest that she would be able to see them all, but instead she leaned against the brick building and stared at the mostly empty sky. In the distance she could see an airplane passing over.

The wind blew her hair in her face, but only once. It was not a slight breeze, nor was it constant. Kadie sighed. "Hi, Damon." The vampire smirked as he leaned against the wall, observing the young blonde woman that had willingly let him drink from her. All he could think of was how Elena would kill him if she ever found out, and how amusing it was to know that. "Come here often?"

"Do you want to go somewhere with me?" His electric blue eyes were lit with the darkness inside of them. She could see a demon deep down in there when she turned her head, and it excited her to no end. To him, Kadie was a walking blood bag that he could use as he pleased as long as her sister didn't find out. She was willing. He couldn't compel her for reasons he still hadn't figured out yet. But he would.

"Sure. Where are we going?" Kadie's smile was playful, but completely fake. Damon could see the emptiness in her eyes from a mile away. It was well hidden, but she couldn't hide that sort of thing from a man that hid it most of his life. She was experienced, but not as experienced as him.

"Georgia."

Kadie laughed. "Fine. Whatever. Why are you going there?'

"It's all a part of my master plan," Damon replied. Kadie laughed again.

"You should consider renaming that. You sound like every villain I've ever read about. You should know that their master plans rarely ever work out. You don't have a hero trying to stop this plan, do you?" Damon's smirk grew as he stared into her black eyes. In the night, they were even darker. She looked like a demon standing next to him, clad in a leather jacket that was way too big for her and a blue/red plaid shirt underneath.

"He doesn't know about the master plan yet." Damon shrugged and pushed himself off of the wall, offering the woman his arm. She rolled her eyes and linked their elbows. He smiled down at her.

"Seriously. How does _diabolical scheme_ sound to you? _So_ much better." Damon unlinked their arms and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, making the entire situation look so easy. Neither of them could feel for another person. Not Kadie, anyway. Damon had given his heart completely to another woman and he was so close to getting her he could taste it. Unfortunately, he couldn't quite taste Katherine so he had a nice blonde to keep him company until then.

"Sounds awful. I'm sticking with the master plan."

"When your master plan fails, don't come crying to me because I totally warned you. The villains will never win with a name like that." Kadie let him touch her, despite her body screaming under the weight. It wasn't like she could tell him that she'd gone about four days without food. Before that, even, she barely ate at all. There was just too much going on in her life to remember to do such a thing, and when she did remember the sight of food made her sick. Being without food made her sick.

"It'll work, trust me." Damon's voice was hard and sure. Kadie nodded, not really wanting to talk anymore about that. Whenever it got serious, she tended to stop. Nothing was ever fun when emotions were involved.

They both got in the car and he blew out of the school parking lot. They were on the road and making their way to Georgia until they saw a car in the middle of a road and a hooded man walking towards it. Damon pulled over as quickly as he could and ran up to the car, scaring off the man. Kadie followed behind him. Her heart was sinking as she neared the car, because she knew it from somewhere. She knew it all too well. That was Elena's car.

"Holy shit, Elena!" Kadie bent over to look at her crying, screaming sister. She was upside down in the nearly destroyed car and terrified. Damon pressed past Kadie with worried, wide blue eyes. She'd never seen so many emotions flickering inside of them before. It was almost off-putting, but she was too intrigued to tell. She could stare at those eyes forever and not have a problem with it, as long as emotions were never involved.

Damon helped her out of the car and wrapped his arms around Elena, holding her bridal style to make sure that she was okay. His eyes were so concerned. Kadie pressed her lips together in a tight line. She was in and out of consciousness, and the last thing she said before passing out completely was, "I look like her." Kadie looked at Damon whose eyes went wide at the claim. She didn't say anything. Damon placed her in the front seat and Kadie claimed the back. She wanted to feel worried for her little sister. She knew that somewhere locked inside of her, she was. She couldn't dig it out. She knew that if she did, she'd have to let go of everything else as well. She can't have just one feeling without feeling them all, and her mind might break the second she lets go.

.:::.

Kadie leaned against the window and watched the trees go by. She didn't know that going with Damon would be such a bad idea. It was the next day and she felt like throwing up, but nothing was coming up. There wasn't anything to come up. Elena was still passed out in the front seat, but as far as Kadie knew she was perfectly fine. Other than a bad headache when she wakes up, Elena will live. There was still no worry inside of her as she watched the back of her sleeping sister's head. She knew that it was wrong to feel so empty at a time like that, but she couldn't help it.

Elena groaned and placed her hand on her head. Damon kept his eyes on the road. "Morning."

"Where are we?" Elena asked, looking around with furrowed brows. She noticed her sister in the backseat, completely fine. Her shoulders tensed a bit less, but she was still confused. Wherever she was, it was not familiar.

"Georgia," Damon replied in a sing-song voice.

"Georgia?" Elena gasped. "No, no, no we're not. Seriously, Damon. Where are we?" She turned her head. "Kadie, where am I?" Damon smirked.

"Seriously, we're… We're in Georgia," Damon stated. His voice was amused until he looked over at Elena. "How ya feeling?"

"I… I…" Elena checked her arms and legs. She was obviously confused and freaked out. Most people that woke up in a car in a completely different state with a psychopath and their drugged up sister would freak out.

"There's no broken bones. I checked." Damon's blue eyes were soft when they were on the road, and Kadie realized then that Damon had feelings for her little sister. She didn't know how she didn't notice it before. Kadie was normally so great at reading things and knowing what would happen next. It was sort of a bore for a person that liked surprises, but it came in handy. Maybe Damon was really good at masking his emotions, most of the time. Kadie pressed her eyebrows together. How unfortunate.

"But my car. There was a man. I hit a man." Elena jerked up. "But then he got up and- who was that?"

"That's what I would like to know," Damon replied. Kadie slunk into her seat and stared out the window. She wasn't part of that conversation. Damon was in love with her little sister and she planned on doing things with him. That was kind of weird. He was a lot older than her, anyway. A lot a lot older. Mainly in appearance, though. That was all that mattered, right?

"Where is my phone?" Elena's brown eyes looked back and forth between Kadie and Damon. She was still freaked. "Okay. We really need to go back. Nobody knows where I am. I mean it, Damon! Pull over!" Elena leaned against the door. "Stop the car!" Slowly, Damon pulled on the side of the road. To Kadie's right, she could see a farm. She stared at it for a little while. Damon was at Elena's side the second she stumbled a bit. Elena was lucky to have two men willing to do anything for her. Kadie wasn't jealous, though. She sort of wanted to be. Somewhere inside of her, she wanted those blue eyes to look at her like they looked at Elena. That wasn't going to happen. Kadie would never let it happen.

Elena and Damon got back in the car. "So, where's my car?" Elena started

"I pulled it off to the side of the road. I don't think anyone will bother it." Kadie remembered him being able to move a car. It was pretty impressive, and it made her wonder why he had so much strength and didn't use it on a girl that obviously wanted to hurt.

"What about the man in the road? Was he a…?" Vampire? He should have been. He ran like off like a bat out of Hell as soon as Damon came around.

"From what I could tell, yeah," Damon replied. His blue eyes went over to Elena and looked her over. She was sitting up then, and a lot better. It was nice to know that Elena wasn't going to suffer any serious head injuries. It was nice to know that she was alive.

"You don't know him?"

"If I've never met him, I wouldn't know him. I mean, it's not like we all hang out together at the vamp bar and grill." Kadie smirked at this. Just as soon as his sentence finished, they were all pulling into an old bar. Damon parked near the front.

"Where are we? You brought me to a bar? Damon, I'm not old enough. They're not going to let me in."

"Sure they will," Damon reassured, wearing that same cocky grin he had when he killed Vicki; when he took away the life that she once had and turned her into one of them. She couldn't forget who actually staked her. She couldn't forget who was the original source of the staking.

They all got out of the car together and went inside, and were greeted by a very happy dark-skinned woman. She was beautiful, with dark curls and a large smile. Kadie couldn't tell how old she was, but she was definitely a lot older than she and Elena. She was also tall and had lean muscles. She looked healthy; unlike a lot of the people Kadie had seen working a bar before. "No," She gushed. "No, it can't be. Damon, my honey pie." She moved from behind the bar and went over to Damon, where their lips connected. Damon wrapped his arms around her. Elena looked uncomfortable and Kadie smirked. She didn't peg Damon for the kind of man that hunted cougars.

"Listen up, everybody!" She yelled, walking back to her booth. Everyone turned their heads to look at her. She grabbed a bottle of alcohol and a few shot glasses. "Here's to the man that broke my heart," She poured herself a shot. "Crushed my soul," She poured Elena a drink. "Destroyed my life," Kadie. "And ruined any and all chances of happiness!" She held up her shot and toasted the crowd before downing it. The entire time, her smile was bright and filled with life.

"So, how'd he rope the two of you in?" Kadie and Elena looked at each other. The blonde smirked when Elena got nervous.

"I'm not roped in. Actually, I'm dating his-" The woman cut Elena off and Kadie's smirk grew.

"Honey, if you're not roped, you're whipped. Either way just enjoy the ride." Kadie was beginning to really like this woman. She was older, sure, but she was running a bar and still having fun. Or at least from what Kadie could tell she was.

"Okay," Elena said, casting Damon an odd look. "So how'd you two meet?"

"College." The woman looked over at Damon and her smile grew, if that was even possible. She wished that she could smile like her. That woman could light up an entire room if she wanted to. She couldn't light up Kadie, though. The blonde wished that the woman could.

"You went to college?" Elena asked Damon in surprise. Her smile was large and amused.

"I've been on a college campus, yes," Damon replied. His blue eyes were connected to the woman as she walked around. She poured Kadie another shot and smiled.

The woman started again, "About 20 years ago, when I was a sweet, young freshman I met this beautiful man, and I fell in love. And then he told me about his little secret, made me love him more. Because, you see, I had a little secret of my own that I was dying to share with somebody."

"She's a witch," Damon told Elena. Elena nodded and smiled. Kadie would have been surprised if she didn't know about vampires. She was about ready to accept anything.

"Changed my world, you know," The woman said. Her tone was nostalgic as she stared at Damon. The vampire smirked.

"I rocked your world."

"He is good in the sack, isn't he?" The woman asked, looking at Elena who had wide eyes. Kadie smirked. "But mostly he's just a walk away Joe. What is it that you want?" Damon stared at the woman with hard eyes. Elena picked her phone out of the pocket and sighed. She gave Kadie a look before walking outside, leaving Kadie there to drink by herself. Elena was between Kadie and Damon.

Kadie kept drinking until her stomach couldn't handle it anymore. She paid the woman that later introduced herself as Bree with the money she had left from her last paycheck. "Come on," Damon pleaded. "There's got to be another way." Kadie blinked a couple of times and looked at him. Her mind was fuzzy.

"After all these years, it's still only Katherine. How do you even know she's still alive?" Bree's face was concerned.

"Well, you help me get into that tomb and we'll find out." Bree walked over to Kadie and poured her another shot. Kadie didn't even know what she was drinking then. It was all going down like water and tasted the same. Still, in her mouth, there was the aftertaste of old alcohol. That was all she was able to focus on, besides her burning stomach and blinking world around her.

"I already did 20 years ago. Remember? 3 easy steps: comet, crystal, spell." Kadie blinked again as soon as her world started turning black. She wasn't going to pass out, no, but she wasn't going to be completely there. She didn't know what was going on around her. All she could hear was the cheers in the background and Bree's voice over them all. She was trying to focus on that, but her mind wouldn't let her wrap around it. But was she drunk? Kadie didn't feel drunk.

"There's a little problem with number 2. I don't have the crystal," Damon replied. His eyebrows were furrowed, his cocky smile gone. Kadie had never seen him look so serious.

"That's it, Damon. There's no other way. It's Emily's spell." Kadie went to take another drink but Bree stopped her. Her hand went around the glass before she could make contact with it. Bree took it back. Kadie sighed and laid her head on the counter.

"What about a new spell with a new crystal that overrides the spell?"

"It doesn't work that way, baby. Emily's spell is absolute. You can't get into that tomb." Bree absentmindedly poured a drink and pushed the shot glass away from her. Kadie snatched it before she could remember what she was doing. She was too focused. Her nerves were shot. Kadie could tell, even through that façade of hers and beer goggles. She was breaking and Damon couldn't see it.

Damon pushed off of the barstool and walked outside to Elena. He could hear her on the phone with someone, Kadie knew. Bree walked over to Kadie and smiled. "So what's your part in all of this?'

"For fun, I guess." Kadie shrugged.

"So you can leave, but you don't want to?" Bree laughed. "Why?" She placed her hand over Kadie's and her eyes went wide. She snapped it back and stared at Kadie for a long minute. "What are you?" She whispered. Kadie blinked and looked back down at her shot glass. There were still a few drops of alcohol left. "You're not human, what are you?"

"I don't know." Kadie shrugged. "As far as I know, I'm human." Her mind came back into consciousness. She'd only had three shots. That was enough to keep her happy, but not in the dark. Kadie blinked a few times and looked up at the normally happy woman. Her eyes were calculating and… Scared? Kadie pressed her lips in a tight line. "I'm not human?" Kadie laughed.

"No. I- I don't…" Damon and Elena walked back into the bar. Bree quickly rushed over to help them out as they sat down. Whatever Kadie was, Bree wanted absolutely nothing to do with it.

"What am I?" Kadie muttered, looking down into the empty glass. Her stomach twisted and threatened to spill the invading liquids. It was only a matter of time before she had to, but it wouldn't be nice. She was waiting as long as she could. Elena and Damon both ordered food and Damon smiled at her.

"Not gonna eat?" Kadie shook her head and Bree's eyes went wide again. No one but Kadie seemed to notice. Things were getting really weird.

.:::.

**Author's Notes!  
**Bah, I was kind of lazy with this chapter. I'm sorry. Not my favorite chapter in the world, but I'm getting there. How'd you like it? I'll update soon soon soon! Thank you for all of the reviews and to everyone who favorite and followed my story. It motivates me to keep writing haha, despite the whole I'm completely and totally in need of writing a Damon fanfic. Just a reminder that I do not own The Vampire Diaries. Please review and let me know how I'm doing!


	5. The Catalyst

**5. THE CATALYST **

"Where's your girl?" Bree asked Damon. He was sitting there in a booth with a drink in his hands, thinking about everything. The dark-haired vampire knew that there was a way into that tomb without using the crystal, and he knew that Bree was hiding something from him. Her heart beat sped up whenever she asked him where Elena had gone. Damon couldn't care about that, though. All he could see was Elena. He didn't hear her. He didn't hear her heartbeat. His heart felt like it fell into his stomach and then exploded back into his chest. He couldn't let something bad happen to the woman that looked so much like _her. _The girl was the spinning image of Katherine, and Stefan was in love with her. Hell, Damon couldn't deny that there was something there. He pushed himself out of the booth and walked outside.

"Elena?" Damon took in a deep breath. "Elena!"

.:::.

"How do you feel?" Bree sank into the seat across from Kadie. She couldn't remember moving over there, but she knew that she did it for a reason. Her mind was still all over the place, but her tolerance was normally so much better. She'd watched her little sister take shot after shot while entertaining the crowd of men and women surrounding her. She watched Bree pour them and have fun with them as well. Every now and again, though, she would look out the corner of the eye to the door; the door that she had just sent Damon out of.

Kadie smiled. "Great, thanks." The witch in front of her had hard, dark eyes. Her shoulders went straight and tense as she studied the young woman in front of her, trying to figure out what the hell she was. Of all of the dead things that Bree had come in contact with, she'd never seen anything so dark in a soul. There were a lot of questions to be asked; questions Bree knew the girl wouldn't be able to answer.

"How do you _really_ feel?" Kadie's smile faded as she stared at the woman. Bree knew something. No one had ever asked her that question before. No one was ever able to see the fakeness in her tone or the lack of life in her eyes. She wanted to fit in, be a normal human being. She was beginning to wonder if she was even human at all, or if Bree had just lost her mind. "I felt you. You're empty. You don't know what you are, do you?"

"I'm human," Kadie stated defensively. Her black eyes bore into the soul of the witch in front of her, sending shivers down her spine. She didn't feel comfortable being anywhere near something like that.

"Does lying to yourself help you sleep at night?" Kadie's nostrils flared instinctively. "Don't pretend to be angry, girl." Bree took a deep breath and leaned away from Kadie. She knew that she felt. Kadie had to feel. She wasn't completely void of emotions. She longed for pain, didn't she? That was an emotion. She was also uncomfortable and awkward and… Who was this woman to say that they weren't there? Maybe they weren't. Kadie could have sworn that she'd felt. She knows that she feels. "So, how many lives have you ruined? You're what, 22? How many people have died because of you? How many people have died around you?"

Kadie rolled her eyes. "That's none of your business."

Bree smirked. Kadie looked around. She didn't even notice that people had emptied the bar. "You're a destructive little thing, aren't you? And now that beautiful vampire outside is going to die. He probably would have before he even knew you, but you don't really know that, do you?"

"If you're trying to guilt trip me it's not going to work." Bree's smirk grew.

"Oh, I know, honey. I was just seeing if there was anything left in you." She took a drink out of a bottle.

"I'm outta here." Kadie pushed out of the booth and went out the door, passing Damon on the way. He smelled like gasoline and looked like Hell. Still, he was incredibly attractive. It was too bad she didn't want him anywhere near her at that moment. Kadie always hated the smell of gasoline.

.:::.

"We were just leaving. I wanted to say goodbye." Damon's eyes were dark as he stared at the witch, but he had a pleasant smile on his face. Those electric blue eyes always gave him away, though, whenever he let them.

The witch tensed under his stare. "Good to see you again, Damon." Her voice was shaky. She knew what she had done. Damon knew what she'd done. Damon walked forward and she pressed herself against a wall.

Damon's kind smile turned into a smirk. "No kiss?"

"I'm full of vervain. I put it in everything I drink," She forced out.

"And you're telling me this why?" Damon knew.

"Lexi was my friend. How could you?" Damon took another step forward. His eyes were deadly and predatory. She cowered against the wall. "The tomb can be opened," Bree blurted out. Her breathing had gone ragged as she stared at him. She was right to be afraid. Even though she was a witch, he could move so much faster than her. If he wanted her dead, she would have no chance at defending herself.

"You're lying," Damon snarled. His nostrils flared as he stared at her. His eyes danced with the hatred 200 years of searching brought him. He finally had something and this witch- this stupid, righteous witch-, wanted to take it away from him. He could feel a growl growing in his throat, just like an animal's.

"Emily's grimoire, her spellbook. If you know how she closed the tomb the reversal process will be in her book. You can open that tomb." Bree was trying to negotiate her life. Every word out of her mouth was the truth, in fear of death. She wasn't ready for the darkness that came after.

"Where is this book?"

"I-I," Bree stammered. She tried searching her mind for anything that might tell the predator in front of her where it is.

Damon's smirk returned. "You don't know, do you?"

"No. I'm telling you the truth." Damon stepped closer to where he was pressed against her. Her heart beat so fast, so ready to be ripped out of her body. Damon almost got excited at the thought. It'd been so long- too long- since he killed. She felt his hand move. "Wait!" Damon stopped. "There's… You need to be careful of who you keep in your company. That girl, she's not right. She's not human."

"Elena?" Damon raised his eyebrows.

"N-No. That girl will bring nothing but death and destruction wherever she goes. There's nothing inside of her." Bree remained pressed up against the wall. She would try anything to talk her way out of death. There wasn't anything else that she could say. "You should kill her while you still can."

Damon nodded and shoved his hand inside of her chest. Just as harshly as he put it in, he ripped her heart out. Damon watched as she dropped and listened to the thud of her body hitting the floor. He frowned at her and walked back outside, where Kadie and Elena were waiting for him. He stared at the blonde. She wasn't a vampire. She wasn't a witch. She wasn't anything but a human. Kadie was so human that it was infuriating. She did everything that any other drugged up human would. Damon couldn't help but think that everyone she got too close to died. He blinked a couple of times. There wasn't anything off about Kadie Gilbert. She was average.

They didn't speak when they got in the car. It was the middle of the night, at best, and most of them were tired. The smell of gasoline and leather filled the car. Kadie still had one too big for her on, keeping her warm in the cold weather. Elena was the first to speak. "So, why did you bring me with you?"

"Well, you're not the worst company in the world, Elena." Damon gave her a kind smile. Kadie decided that was her cue to stare out the window for a little while. Her mind was lost in what the witch meant by not human. Kadie couldn't think of anything that she might be. She wasn't strong, but she did have a thing for destruction. What in the hell could she be? "You should give yourself more credit."

Elena laughed. "Seriously?"

"You were there in the road, all damsel-in-distress like. And I knew it would piss Stefan off. And… you're not the worst company in the world, Elena." Damon's tone was soft whenever he spoke to Elena. Pain shot through Kadie's stomach, but she only winced. It was starting to get normal, dealing with the hunger like she was.

"I used to be more fun." Elena's smile was playful. It was surprising to see her enjoying the company of someone that she was terrified of just a couple of days ago. She hated him.

"You did okay," Damon replied. Elena laughed again.

"I saved your life." She lifted her eyebrows and lightly pushed his shoulder. This time, Damon let out a low chuckle.

"I know."

"And don't you forget it." What other things were lurking in the night? If there are vampires, there should be werewolves. She never changed on a full moon, and that wouldn't explain why Bree mentioned everyone dying around her. She'd also never done anything with magic in her entire life. If she was a witch, she would know it, wouldn't she? That wouldn't just be something that escaped her mind.

What in the Hell was Kadie Gilbert?

.:::.

Kadie leaned back in the car and stared up at the stars. Elena was already inside the boarding house, most likely talking to Stefan about whatever problem they had before she crashed her car. Damon sat beside her in silence. "How're you feeling?" He asked her. Kadie sighed and slowly turned her head to face the vibrant blues. He was studying her just like Bree was.

"Well, my mental health seems to be the topic of the night. I've been talking to this white rabbit, named him Steve. We've been getting along nicely. Every now and again, he tells me to-"

"What are you?" Damon cut Kadie off.

"Blunt, aren't we?" Kadie sighed whenever his normal, joking face didn't lighten up. It was dark and swirling and kind of really, freakishly sexy. "I'm human. You've tasted my blood. It was human, wasn't it? Or can you not tell those sorts of things?" Damon's eyes were still dark. "Guess not." Kadie took in a deep breath and looked away from him. Everything she did was so practiced that it almost came second nature to her. Kadie knew that somewhere, deep inside she could feel. She was a human. She was just not stable. That was all that she was, and there wasn't anything more.

Kadie looked back over at Damon, who was lightening up. He didn't like the mood being too serious either. There was something about the blonde that he didn't get, though. Some part of him was interested to know what made her tick; why Bree warned him about her. He wasn't thinking then, but he should have let her explain further. She deserved to die, though. It felt nice to rip her heart out and leave her on the floor. "Thirsty?"

Damon's smirk completely returned when the young woman spoke up. "Always." Damon picked her up out of the car and sped into the room with her. She didn't even have time to blink before she was pressed up against the wall yet again. His body pressed up against hers, wedging her between him and the wall. He was gentle, though, for someone with so much strength. It drove her insane to know that he had the power to hurt her, but wouldn't. It meant that he had a heart somewhere deep inside of him.

His lips trailed down her neck, slowly. He could feel the vein under them, pulsating with each heart-beat. When Kadie shivered under him, his stomach flipped. He got excited and before he knew it he had bit down into the girl, like a vicious animal. He didn't bother with trying not to rip her throat out. As far as he knew, she was okay. Kadie dug her nails into his arms yet again but didn't object. She didn't scream. All that left her mouth was silent gasps as he attempted yet again to suck the life out of her.

Damon pulled back with her blood trailing down his lips. Kadie stared at his face in wonder. She had seen Vicki as a vampire, with tears streaming down her face and fangs that stuck out too far. Damon, on the other hand, looked demonic. The blood trickling down his lower lip made Kadie shiver. The black veins under his dark, reddening eyes only made him look more like a hellion. Kadie lifted her hands from the shoulders she had dug her nails into and moved them up to his hair, all the while staring at his face. As soon as her fingers got a good grasp of it, she crashed her lips against his. Damon tightened his hold on her waist and pushed his body further into hers. Kadie wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Oh god."

Damon groaned and pulled his lips away from Kadie's. He rested his head in the crook of her neck, knowing damn well who was standing in the doorway. Kadie turned towards the door and smiled at the wide-eyed Stefan. She could feel the blood trailing down her neck, and then Damon's tongue running across it. "Hey there, Stef. To whom do I owe the pleasure?"

"I-I'll just…" Stefan paused and took a large breath. "I'll just… go." Kadie smiled again and waved. Damon grinded against the inside of her legs and she laughed.

"Ruined, isn't it?"

Kadie nodded. "Yep." She popped the 'p', imitating Damon. The vampire groaned against her neck and grinded again before letting her down. "Thanks for the fun, though." Damon nodded and placed his hands on her hips, leaning down to lick up the rest of the blood. Kadie shivered again against his body. Damon couldn't help but feel attached to her. He didn't want to let her go. He couldn't even compel her to stay, or forget.

Kadie smiled at him before she walked out of the room. Damon payed attention to her eyes more than her thick lips, and noticed that it never reached. Kadie might be human, but Bree was right about one thing. The girl was empty, like someone went inside of her and shoved all of the emotion into a completely different place. No human in their right mind would let a vampire drink from them. Not one that didn't expect him to be real. Not one that watched as he murdered all of her friends. He should have noticed it before. Damon grabbed scooped her up bridal style before she could say anything and rushed her to the Gilbert home. She ended up in her room before she could say anything about the way he held her. Kadie pursed her lips. "What, you didn't just think I was going to let you walk home?"

Kadie smirked. "Goodnight, Damon."

"Goodnight."

.:::.

Jenna flopped on the bed beside her niece. Kadie groaned and threw an arm over her eyes, earning a laugh from the strawberry blonde. "C'mon, Kadie. Wake up. I have something to tell you." When Kadie didn't move, Jenna sighed and laid her head down on the pillow beside Kadie's head. She stared up at the ceiling for at least ten minutes before finally speaking. "You're adopted."

"Oh." Kadie didn't have the energy to fake it. She was exhausted. So much had been happening that past week, and there wasn't any food in her body. She was sick from drinking the night before, and she was sick from letting Damon suck half of her dry. All she wanted to do was lay there until someone found a good enough reason to get her out. 5 days, she told herself. Or was it 6? Kadie couldn't remember. "Well, that's unfortunate."

Jenna smiled. "You're taking this a lot easier than I expected."

"Yeah, well, it's like 3 in the morning and I'm tired." Kadie sighed. "So, do you know anything about the ones that gave me up?" Jenna blinked a few times as she stared at the white ceiling. She didn't really know what to tell Kadie. She didn't expect a conversation like she and Elena had the night before, and just that evening. Kadie had slept a lot longer than she intended.

"They died," Jenna replied. "I'm sorry, if you wanted to get to know them. They seemed so scared when they knocked on the door. They were your mom's good friends, you know. Marley and Jason. Great people. Right after they dropped you off, they were walking down the road and a car swerved and hit them. Never stopped. They never caught the person who did it." Kadie held her breath. That was another person in her life that died. They were leaving that life, but they didn't get out fast enough. People have been dropping dead around her all her life.

"Thanks, Jenna."

"So, there's a decade dance tonight that I think you should accompany me to. You've been in bed all day, and we all need a break from all of these secrets. I think you need a break, and I definitely need a break. This dance will give us that break. C'mon." Jenna pulled the covers off of Kadie and she shivered. She was awake then, whether she liked it or not. Kadie groaned and sat up, rubbing her sore eyes. Jenna laughed. "You have ten minutes to get ready." The blonde nodded and Jenna left the room.

Kadie went over to her dresser and pulled out gray sweatpants and a white tank top. Over that tank top, she put on a light gray, really soft cardigan and then that same leather jacket. Her eyes were naturally dark thanks to her thick lashes and the color, but her skin was paled and sickly. Her arms shook as she ran her fingers through her messy hair. She was looking worse by the day. Kadie tried to cover it up with some foundation, but it only made her skin look a little bit healthier. She pulled a brush through the small knots in her naturally straight hair and put some eyeliner and mascara on. She looked a lot better than she had in days, but she knew underneath it all she looked like she died.

Over her cardigan, Kadie slipped on her leather jacket. It was cold outside and feeling like she did, everything felt so much colder than it should. She wrapped a scarf around her neck before heading downstairs. Jenna grinned at her. "Ready to go?" Kadie nodded. "Whoa, you look awful." Jenna pressed a hand against Kadie's forehead. "Are you sure you feel up to going?"

"I'm out of bed, aren't I?" Kadie grinned. Jenna smiled back and offered Kadie her elbow. Kadie linked their arms together. "Shall we?"

.:::.

Kadie decided to occupy a table while Jenna talked to Alaric. The moment that she saw the teacher standing there, she made her way towards him with a quick apology to Kadie. She was stuck sitting there, watching kids dance to romantic 50's songs that were probably only picked for their popularity. But then again, what sort of normal teenager would want to hang around and listen to old music that they hadn't heard covered by five thousand indie bands?

"You don't look very 50's," Damon said as he slid into the chair next to Kadie. She leaned her head back and stared at the glowing ceiling. Lights were flashing all around them, and streamers were hanging from the walls and other places that people could reach.

"Neither do you," Kadie retorted.

"You haven't even looked at me," Damon drawled. His voice was thick with sarcasm. Kadie smiled at that. It was weak and forced, but it was there. "You don't look very healthy either."

"I'm- uh…" Kadie sighed, and quickly thought of another lie. "I'm adopted." Truth. "And it's got me pretty shook up. I'unno. Just went my entire life believing that these two people are my parents and then suddenly they're not. It's weird." Lie. "I'll never know them, either. Died right after they dropped me off at the Gilbert's. Jenna said they were good friends of my parents, real nice people." Her voice was thick with emotions that didn't belong to her. Kadie leaned forward and put her head in her hands. It was real. "I just don't understand why everyone keeps dying on me. I'm having a hard time figuring that out." Kadie was having a hard time figuring out what she really was.

"You and me both." Damon pushed himself out of the chair and stood in front of Kadie. "If I'm gonna keep biting you, I might as well be a little nice, right?" He offered her his hand and Kadie smirked, taking it. As long as he kept biting her, she didn't really care what he did; what they did.

Damon led her to the middle of the room, where he placed a careful hand on the small of her back. Kadie lifted an eyebrow and sent him an amused smile, but he was serious. Those eyes of his were swirling with emotions that Kadie would never understand. His mouth was in a straight line, but the corners were pulled up a tiny bit letting Kadie know that it wasn't from discontent. He was enjoying himself with her, oddly enough.

Damon could feel the warmth of her body against his, even through clothes. She looked like she'd just rose from her grave, but something about her drew Damon in. He would probably grow bored with the destructive human as soon as he figures out what she actually is. "So, why are you doing this?"

"I was bored," Damon replied. Kadie smirked and rested her head on his chest. She didn't want to move from the uncomfortable chair for many reasons. One of them being her hatred of dancing. Another, her body shutting down on her. Kadie really just didn't want to romantically involve herself with Damon. She wanted him to hurt her, and he was doing a damn great job at it. She was using him for those teeth of his, and he was letting it all happen. Did he see more in her than there actually was, like everyone else in her life?

"Bored, huh?" Kadie smiled and trailed her fingers down his neck, slowly dragging them down his chest before stopping at his stomach. He shivered as soon as her skin connected with his, proving to Kadie that she did have some sort of hold over him. "So what brings you here?"

"Your sister is a trouble magnet."

Kadie laughed. "You don't know the half of it." She looked over at her sister and Stefan dancing. They were talking, laughing with each other like nothing bad would ever happen to them. Would they die too? It was inevitable, their deaths were, but would they be taken before the right time because of their involvement with Kadie? Bree's words had really gotten to her, because they were true. It was only a matter of time before she killed everyone else, and she still didn't leave. She knew that somewhere, deep down inside she cared. She knew that she was wrong to mess with that vampire like she was, and wrong to hang around them knowing that she was cursed or something, but she didn't care. Not an ounce of worry for her family and new friend was inside of her. Just like the witch said, she was empty. But not completely. "I think I need to sit down for a while. I might be sick or something."

"Yeah, sure." Damon's eyes landed on Stefan and Elena. He stared long and hard, lost completely in thought. Kadie took that time to move around the crowd and back to the same table she occupied a while ago. Damon was left now at the edge of the dance floor, staring. His eyes were frozen whenever he looked at Elena, in that same whirl of emotions he had every other time he looked at her. Except there was something more. Kadie watched him. He was jealous.

Her eyes grew tired after a while. She rested her head on the back of the wall, up until she was rudely ripped out of her chair. Kadie moved faster than she could blink, and she was out of the room and somewhere completely different. Kadie looked around and noticed that it was… a gym? Or maybe it was a cafeteria. Either way, her back was pressed up against another chair and there was a vampire in her face. She stared up at him with blank eyes. She figured that being emotionless came with not having to experience fear. She was glad. "Why aren't you screaming?"

"Question of the week," Kadie replied. "No one knows." A tiny, smug smirk appeared on her face when the hooded vampire grew frustrated. She did it to annoy him. Her heart accelerated when she thought about what he could do to her; what pain he could bring her. The vampire grabbed her by the throat and shoved her against a wall, harshly banging the back of her head and neck against it. Her air was cut off. Kadie closed her eyes. A scream didn't- or maybe it couldn't- escape her.

"You're afraid," The vampire accused, happy that he was able to get a spark out of Kadie.

She smirked up at him. "Wrong."

"Then what?"

"Excited," Kadie laughed out. "We should get together sometime." His hair was dark and he was strangely familiar. She couldn't remember him to save her life. What the hell was he doing throwing around girls? He was tall and strong. But there wasn't anything dark inside of him. No, just confused and angry. It put off the blonde girl with a bruise forming on her throat and back. She was going to love looking at that. "So what am I doing here? Am I supposed to scream? 'Cause I'm warning you, I'm not very good at it."

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Says the freak that slammed me against a wall." Kadie rolled her eyes. "So what am I doing here?" Kadie repeated. She ran a hand through her light hair, staring up at him with expecting, dark eyes. They were cold and it sent a shiver down his back. The hairs on his arms were standing up. She fearlessly faced her death. "Well, I guess since you're going to stand there and be a freaking idiot, I'll ask another question. No one's really told me anything about you guys. I know that you're really strong and really fast, but what else? Anything that might make you suckers cool, or just…?"

"Mind control," He said, bored already with the blonde. "We can compel a human to do whatever we want, as long as they're not wearing an herb called vervain."

"Well, look at you. You're a sharer. I like that." He glared down at Kadie. Just then a girl with long, curly dark brown hair walked in. She had dark clothes on and a nice smile. "So, can I go back home or what? Kinda tired and, no offense, but you guys are kind of a bore." Kadie shrugged. The male vampire was easy to get a rise out of. Before Kadie knew it, he had her pressed up against the wall again. His hand was around her throat, much tighter than the time before. Kadie let her eyes flutter closed yet again, not daring to scream or even try. She wasn't scared. She wanted to be scared. Why couldn't she be scared?

"Let her go, Ben." The smaller vampire ordered. The man dropped Kadie back down on the ground. The girl leaned in close to her, staring into her eyes. Kadie smirked, but it never reached her eyes. The eyes were always a tell-tale of emotions, but hers were completely void. The girl wasn't scared of them. She sighed and stood back up. "Guess we gotta go for the other Gilbert. I was starting to like him."

The girl with the dark-haired man leaned in close and her pupils dilated. "Forget about all of this. You'll go home, go to bed, and remember that you had a lot to drink here last night. You won't remember what happened." And then they disappeared.

Kadie blinked a couple of times. The only other Gilbert Kadie could think of was Jeremy. She pushed herself up using the wall for support and rubbed her temples. Her head throbbed, and her neck was sore. The pain made her feel something, though. She needed to feel something; anything. She walked back into the hall. In an even bigger room, Kadie saw Stefan stake down another vampire and a very shocked Elena. He was going to keep killing for that girl. Kadie silently walked inside.

"What do we- how do we find the others now?" Elena asked.

"He had to die," Damon replied.

"But…" Elena looked like she was going to break down. Kadie wanted to comfort her, but she didn't feel like she belonged in that area. She didn't belong anywhere near someone like her.

"Elena, he's been invited in." Stefan's eyebrows dropped. He lightly touched her arm to comfort her. Kadie blinked a couple of times, watching them be close to each other. Damon was beside her, just as quick as the others. His hand went to her neck, but she pulled away.

"What happened?" Kadie narrowed her eyes and looked at the ceiling, rubbing the back of her head. Just for kicks, she decided to repeat what the young girl said to her.

"I don't know. I can't remember. I drank a lot, though." Kadie nodded. "Or maybe it was these two vampires that attacked me out of nowhere for being a Gilbert. I'm not even a Gilbert," Kadie laughed out. Damon placed his hand on her throat again. By the way he was looking at it; Kadie suspected that it was worse than she originally thought. Ben sure did know how to throw a girl around.

"Who?" Maybe vampires were possessive over who bit who. That was kind of kinky, and hot. As long as she could pretend that there wasn't worry in those swirling blue eyes of his, or anything close to emotion, she would be able to find him incredibly attractive. Emotions made Kadie weird, in many different ways. She didn't want to have to bail on the beautiful vampire. But she would.

"How am I supposed to know?" Kadie shot back. "Whatever. It's not like he killed me or anything."

"It's a he?" Stefan spoke up.

"Yep," Kadie replied. She popped the 'p'. "And a she." Stefan looked back at Elena. They were both obviously worried, but for completely different reasons. Kadie was relieved that everything revolved around her little sister. At least she might be able to make it away from Kadie alive.

.:::.

The cold water crashing against paled skin woke up the exhausted person underneath it. Kadie had been standing there, trying to adjust the the temperature for at least thirty minutes. Every time she turned away, half of her body would warm up. She took in a few deep, short breaths as she let the water hit her face. She figured the best way to clear her mind and try and figure out what she was, was to completely block it from working. The only thing she could think of was taking a cold shower. And really, her mind was blank. Her head didn't hurt, and for a little while she didn't feel so hungry. After washing herself off, Kadie stepped out and wrapped a towel around her torso. She tucked it in before she started brushing her hair. And then, she got ready to lie on her bed and stare at the ceiling all night long until she figured out just what the hell was happening to her. She used to have emotions, didn't she? As the years go by, it gets worse and worse.

One day she won't know anything anymore.

Kadie slipped on thick, warm, lime green sweatpants and a large Metallica t-shirt. Then, she brushed her teeth to try and get the bile out of the back of her throat. It still burned. As soon as she was completely done, Kadie practically fell into her bed and curled up in the sheets. Her eyes refused to close, though. They stared at the wall in front of her and the open window next to it. "Were you expecting company?"

Damon sat in her windowsill, staring at her. "Going Edward Cullen on me now, are you? Funny." Kadie sighed. "Yeah, figured you'd come by." Damon slid into bed with her and rolled on top of Kadie. Something about it made him feel like one of those modern teenagers, sneaking into a girl's room and sleeping with her. Was he going to leave after they finished? Was she even going to let him? Damon looked down at her. There were dark circles around her eyes, and her skin had paled since he saw her. There was a bruise around her neck and a bite mark beside it. He didn't want to hurt her. "So are you going to do it or not?"

Damon leaned down and bit into her bruised neck, drawing blood. He tried to make it softer, but the girl pushed down. She wanted this pain, he realized. There was definitely something off about her. Damon felt weird, lying above her like that. She wasn't passionate. She was just like a flame. She blew up and it was nice, but she burned everything that got near her and destroyed anything that got in the way. "What are you?"

Kadie turned her head, her eyes fluttering. She didn't care that Damon could see the emptiness inside of them. Her mouth was straight and her expression bland. "Question of the week. No one knows," She muttered. Damon was gone before she could say anything else. He closed the window behind him.

.:::.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES!  
**Bah, I hated writing this! Damon is getting feelings and Kadie can't feel. All I want to do is make an average romance, where the girl is completely head over heels and they have a hate/love relationship and it's all fun and games. Unfortunately, I was inspired to write about the darker side of things. And that's kind of how I'm doing it, I guess. Anyway, I'd really appreciate some reviews. I'm feeling pretty inspired now so I have a feeling I'll be getting up chapters fast. I won't post a chapter unless I have at least 1 review in the previous one, though. Gotta know what to edit- if there ever is anything- before I post an entirely new chapter! Trust me; I've got a great story thing going on. Please review and let me know how I did.

And last but not least, I do not own The Vampire Diaries! This story is completely fictional, and made for my entertainment, and your entertainment. Thanks for all of the reviews that I've been getting. Love the encouragement!


	6. Wires

**6. WIRES**

The dark sheets wrapped around the sweaty skin of a young woman, but it didn't warm her freezing body. She felt like she was lying in the snow, and each time she drew the covers closer her body rejected the warmth and got colder. Kadie shivered and pushed the covers off of her, not enjoying the cold air that hit soon after. The blonde slowly rolled until she crashed to the floor. All of her bones screamed in pain and her skin felt like it had been set on fire- a very cold, painful fire. Kadie flinched, but didn't deny the pain. She stumbled to stand and then practically launched herself into the bathroom, where whatever was left inside of her came up. There were large chunks of blood staining the toilet and a few drops on her lip.

Kadie flushed and flew backwards, falling down the wall. She felt like she was drunk and unable to completely control her body. No matter how hard she wanted to, she couldn't stand without stumbling or walk straight. Just as Kadie had launched herself at the wall, she picked up and stumbled towards the mirror. Blank, completely black eyes stared back at her. Kadie knew that her eyes were dark and somewhat demonic looking, but the white in her eyes was gone. She rolled them back to observe further, ignoring the threats her stomach was making.

There were gray veins crawling up her neck. The entire process was painful, like her veins were slowly exploding and she was stuck watching. She couldn't do anything about it. Her throat wouldn't let her scream, and even if she wanted to it wouldn't be in terror. Kadie blinked at herself, watching as the gray spread. She could hear her heartbeat, throbbing and frantically thrashing around in an attempt at survival. "What the hell am I?" Kadie muttered.

Kadie's lips darkened to the same gray crowding her veins. It didn't change her skin color entirely, though. There was still blood on her now dark gray lips, clashing against the colors just like her hair had. Kadie closed her eyes for as long as she felt she needed and opened them again. Her skin returned back to normal and her eyes were slowly gaining their natural look. Kadie was going to convince herself that she was human, because never once had she ever seen anything like that. But there was something wrong with her. She just didn't know what.

Taking deep breaths, Kadie stumbled out of the bathroom and, with shaky hands, fumbled through her pants to find another pack of cigarettes. She walked over to her bed and lit it, breathing in to try and comfort herself. Instead, it only burned her throat more and forced her to cough up more of the blood she'd been trying to keep in. She was going to eat something, and maybe she would be able to rule this off as a delusion. Kadie nodded, mostly to herself. She could smell the food and hear pots and pans downstairs.

Kadie threw on sweatpants and thick socks, followed by the same Metallica shirt she wore to sleep the night before and a gray hoodie. Kadie didn't even bother to brush the blood off of her lip, too distracted by the thought of getting rid of the hallucinations. She needed to reassure herself that she was human, and she was going to do whatever she needed in order to do that. She didn't think about having to walk down the stairs on her own, so she quickly stumbled, holding onto the side to make sure she didn't fall and break a neck.

"Please don't tell me I slept all day again," Kadie breathed. She didn't realize how sick she sounded until after that. She could definitely rule whatever just happened out as a figment of her imagination. Elena smiled when she noticed her sister standing in the doorway, but it was quickly replaced with worry.

"What happened to your lip?" Elena walked over to her sister and grabbed the sides of her still sore head, examining her closely. "Kadie, are you okay?" Her voice was low, signaling Kadie that there were other people there. The blonde looked around with tired eyes. She could smell the food, and she knew that she liked it, but the thought of putting it in her mouth made her sick.

"I'm pretty awful, actually," Kadie laughed. "I'm pretty sure I just threw up all of my insides." Kadie wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her jacket. "And now I'm hungry. So…" Kadie walked over to the pantry and pulled out a can of chicken noodle soup. The picture on the can made her want to throw up more, and she was sure that the smell of it was even more unattractive. She placed the can back in the pantry and pulled out a couple tiny crackers. She forced herself to chew on them. Her stomach attempted to violently reject them, but she held it down. "Ugh," Kadie groaned. She took another bite.

"You're going to make yourself sick doing that. Maybe you should stick with the chicken noodle." Kadie shook her head, spotting a certain vampire out of the corner of her eye. His arms were crossed as he studied her. Elena didn't know what Bree said. Elena didn't know anything about Kadie, so the fact that she looked like she came out of Hell didn't interest her like it should have.

"What? You're too good to eat my cooking?" Damon wanted to cut himself off from Kadie as soon as that witch said he should kill her while he had the chance, whatever the hell that meant. He wanted to stop hanging around her, and try and figure out what kind of danger was living with Elena in the process. He couldn't, though. Her dark eyes looked pained, despite the fact that they held nothing inside of them. Her body was weak and she was actually humorous when she tried. Damon also knew that she could feel. She had felt around him before; fear when she saw what he had done to Vicki. It might not be constant, like it should be, but there was something left inside of the supposedly empty girl. He used to get so frustrated with Stefan for wanting to bring the good out in him, but he wanted to do the same with the obviously sick girl in front of him. He wanted to show her what it was like to feel, and keep those feelings around. He felt for her. Even when he was so close to Katherine, he felt something for her and- despite being completely dedicated to the brunette stuck in the tomb-, he wanted her to feel something for him too. Anger rippled through him, because Kadie let him near her knowing that she'd never be able to feel.

Kadie looked down at the food in the pans and scrunched her nose. "Yes." She forced another cracker in her mouth, letting it painfully slide down her burning throat. Kadie reached into the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water, letting the cool liquid soothe her throat. She slowed the swallowing down, so it would linger for a moment. Damon was about to reply, but Kadie beat him to it. "Nah," She breathed out, deciding she wasn't in the mood to joke anymore- seconds after answering. "I'm just not too hungry."

"So what is this?" Kadie motioned towards Elena and Damon. She could hear video games in the living room, knowing well that Jeremy was sitting there playing his PlayStation. "Family night?" She placed another cracker in her mouth. This time, it slid down her throat and landed in her stomach with ease. She was counting them, subconsciously. It made her sick to know that she had put anything at all in her mouth. She didn't shot it.

"Yep," Damon replied.

"I wasn't invited? Harsh." Kadie smirked at the two of them. If she had been normal, she probably would have felt insulted that they would leave her out of something like that. Damon was cooking, Elena was smiling and Jeremy was doing his own little thing. They were all downstairs and having a wonderful time. Kadie wondered if anyone could hear what she was doing in that bathroom; if anyone could hear the sound of her skin tightening as her veins protruded and practically died. Or was it all fake?

"Sorry," Elena started. "Jenna said that you weren't feeling well and to leave you alone." Kadie nodded and popped another cracker in her mouth. She chewed slow as she watched Elena and Damon together. They were growing closer and closer with each passing day. Elena was starting to grow on the attractive man in the kitchen.

"That's fine. I am pretty sick. Don't really know what's been going on lately." Kadie shrugged. "Anyway, I'm gonna head back upstairs."

Elena gave her a weird look as she left. The brunette was determined on showing the girl that she was better than she thought. But sometimes, Elena could catch a look in Kadie's eye that told her maybe she really wasn't better than how she acted. Elena couldn't just give up on her, though. They were blood, and that meant something.

The doorbell rang and Elena walked to the door, greeting Stefan. She grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close. Even though she'd done this so many times before, it still felt like the first time. It just came so natural to her, though; being around him. It felt like she could spend eternity with him, but she wasn't ready to make that decision yet. Damon stood behind them, giving his brother an arrogant smile. That was the only one that he knew how to give. He slipped up talking to Elena. He couldn't do that again. Not if he wanted things to work out his way. Damon gets what he wants, no matter who he hurts in the process. He was hesitant to trust Elena. But he did. He trusted the brunette with those soft brown eyes. She couldn't do anything to him, right?

.::::.

"Hey, Jenna." Kadie leaned against the wall to the dining room. After staring at the stairs for five minutes, Kadie decided against going up there. It didn't seem like she'd be able to make it without fainting. Her body was still too weak. So instead, she decided that now was the time to fish. If her parents gave her up, they did it for a reason, didn't they? They must have seen what Kadie was and recognized it as something they didn't want to be around. That was the only think Kadie could think of. "What were my parents' names?"

The strawberry blonde looked up from the dishes on the table and gave her a small, soft smile. Kadie crossed her arms. "Linda and Bobby Myers." Jenna sighed. "Bobby was on the football team and Linda was an art geek. They met because he thought she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. They laughed together all of the time, and loved each other. I remember them coming over, and I was so jealous that they got to have something like that." Jenna blinked a couple of times. "When they came up to the doorstep that night, they looked scared out of their minds. They said that something was going to happen and that we should take care of you while we still can. And then they left. Thirty minutes later, they crashed their car into a tree. They were driving too fast for anyone to survive." Jenna frowned. "Their death was… Tragic."

"Thanks." Kadie turned away and pressed her lips together. What in the world would they mean by take care of her before it's too late?

.:::.

Damon could hear the conversation inside even when he wasn't trying. He gave Stefan a look, silently asking if he heard it too. It was the second time that he heard someone say that Kadie should be taken care of before it was too late. Things aren't a coincidence; especially of a girl's parents tell another person that. And Bree was a good witch. He should have asked her more about what the girl was; told him why she deserved to die. Because looking at her, with those dark eyes and beautiful lips, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He'd killed so many beautiful people before. They weren't a problem. This girl, she had beauty in how incredibly average she was. She had beauty in the sickness and in the dark. That drew Damon in, like he suspected drew her in.

.:::.

When a person types Black Eyes into Google, they don't normally get what they're looking for. Unfortunately for Kadie, all that she found was something to do with the actual bruised eyes, and demons. As she scrolled, she came across something about black-eyed beings that had no name, but everyone was afraid in their presence. No one was ever afraid of Kadie, but they were the closest she came to figuring out what the hell happened earlier in that bathroom.

Maybe if she walked into a room with pitch black eyes they'd be afraid of her. Maybe they'd be concerned, because they raised her into that. She wanted to bring her emotions back, and tried her hardest to think of even the saddest things in her life, but nothing would come. She was done being sad about being the cause of everyone's deaths. Her actual parents died; the people that raised her died. So many people around her growing up died. No matter what, Kadie will become the cause of everyone's deaths and she wanted to figure out why.

Did she care more about herself or about the people around her? Kadie picked up a knife and balanced it over the main artery in her wrist. If she was killing everyone in her life just by having black eyes, she would be able to kill herself to end it all. But did she really care about them? Kadie watched the silver as it shone with light from the still open lap top on her bed. She was stretched out, holding her wrist above her head in curiosity. When she pressed down, the veins around it started to turn gray. It would reach until about an inch away from the knife and then stop. What the hell? Kadie pressed down harder, forcing more gray veins to appear. "So, never took you for the depressed type."

Kadie took the knife away before the vampire could see what she was doing with it, or what was coming from touching it. She turned her head to look at Damon, who was crossing his arms against the closed window. "I'm not." She paused. "I thought vampires were supposed to like respect other people's privacy. Windows closed means no entrance. Maybe I should put a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on it?"

She placed the knife on her bedside table and Damon eyed it. "What were you doing then?" He completely ignored her comment and lied down on her bed, making himself comfortable. He placed his hands behind his head and smirked up at the ceiling. Kadie pressed her lips into a tight line. If she was going to figure out what she is before she killed everyone in her life, she would need help. What better to help than a fucking nosey vampire and his complete lack of regard of privacy? Kadie sat up and leaned in closer to him.

"Did you notice anything weird when you bit me?"

"No," Damon replied. His blue eyes narrowed at the young woman leaning over him. She sighed and decided to avoid telling him the truth. He would kill her. She had a chance at feeling something, maybe. She'd rather try and do that than die. At that point in time, she didn't care how many people dropped dead around her. She didn't care that living with another person put them in danger. Her parents spent the most time around her, and they dropped. Then her friends. Now her brother and sister, or maybe even Jenna. And then everyone else she'll ever come in contact with. Damon would kill her to save Elena.

Kadie looked him over. "You look awful."

"Your sister's a liar." Damon laughed bitterly and went back to lying down. Kadie knew that he cared for the teen, in some messed up way. The blonde ran a hand through her hair and sighed. "Can I trust you?"

"Probably not," Kadie replied. She wanted to let him know that she'll most likely be killing him in the future, indirectly but death is still death. She brings tragedy where she goes.

"Why?" He sat up before Kadie could register what he was doing. His electric blue eyes were looking into her soul- if she even had one. They were so intense that it was hard to do anything under that stare. He'd looked at many people like that before, but never at her. He would stare at Elena like that all of the time, when their conversations turned serious. His eyes would soften and he would smile at her, a real genuine smile. But he never looked at Kadie like that. Not until then.

"I don't know. Trust is stupid to have. Everyone will lie or abandon you one way or another. So why bother with it?" Kadie internally flinched when she saw the look in his eyes. He needed someone. "But, for the most part, I don't think I'll ever be able to break that trust. I'm not really a liar, and I doubt I'll abandon you before you abandon me, so why the hell not?" Kadie gave him a small, reassuring smile. And then he hugged her. It was short and lasted probably two seconds, but he pulled her into him and squeezed the hell out of her and then disappeared. The window was closed when he was gone.

Just then Kadie heard someone running up the stairs. "Elena!" He sounded panicked, like she was on her way to death. Kadie sighed and flopped back onto the bed, wishing that she could care. But she was tired. Her physical needs mattered more than the needs of anyone else. She didn't care. That should have scared her… if it could. Stefan burst through her door. When he didn't see Elena in the room, he sank down. Kadie almost groaned. Of course the asshole would get her involved some way or another.

.:::.

"Look, she couldn't be that far off," Kadie reassured the freaking out vampire. He pulled into the Salvatore boarding house and rushed into the building. He had nearly knocked down the door in the process. Kadie rubbed her temples. Elena was the next one on the list. It was only reasonable that she would be. Except Kadie was expecting it to be Jenna. Jenna spent the most time around her, compared to anyone else alive.

The two of them had been searching constantly. Stefan asked Kadie every place that she might be; so many questions like what she heard and if Elena shouted for him when she was taken. Kadie didn't have anything for him. She didn't even have the noises that she heard earlier that night, because she was too distracted in making a vampire she knew she didn't care about feel better. Would she rather do that again than find the little sister she knew she cared about, somewhere in there? Did she care about Damon as well, then? "Anna took Elena," Stefan breathed out.

Damon eyed the blonde girl behind the frantic vampire. He smiled at her. Kadie smiled back. "Yeah, I got that from your 600 voicemails."

"Damon, all night long, every single street in town, I've been searching. What if your blood hasn't passed out of her system?" Stefan ran a stressed hand through his messed hair.

"Well, at least you know you'll see her again." Damon smirked.

Stefan looked pained. "Damon, please. What do you know? You were with Anna; you must know where she's living. Just tell me where I can find her." Stefan was begging Damon.

"Nope. You can go. Really." Kadie decided to take a seat on the couch, her bones still aching from the day and night before. She had little food in her system and she was weak. Her skin still threatened her to turn, and she wouldn't know how to explain that to the brothers without telling them everything. They would want to know everything.

"You know, all I can remember is hating you. There might have been a time when that was different, but your choices have erased anything good about you. But see, I also know you have just as much reason to hate me. This all began with me. Katherine got taken away from you because of me. And I'm sorry." Kadie decided that Stefan was really bad at reasoning with an angry man at that moment. Maybe he never knew what to say.

"Apology accepted," Damon stated bitterly. His eyes were cold and his smile tight.

"So please, just tell me what you know. It's Elena, Damon. If you know something, tell me." Stefan continued begging. Damon turned and looked him dead in the eye. His electric blue orbs were cold and dead.

"I mean this sincerely- I hope Elena dies." Kadie stared at him. Any other person, those words would have freaked them out; worried them to no end. The only hope for saving Elena, didn't want to save her. What was so bad about becoming a vampire, anyway? With a boyfriend that will remain eternal, and lots of others to join you, what in the world would be so awful about becoming something that's worst quality is craving blood? Kadie could name off so many things that would be worse. Then again, Kadie didn't plan on becoming one of those things any time soon.

Kadie sighed and leaned back in her seat. The cushions surrounding her made her body even more tired than it originally was. She was comfortable in that small space. Her body warmed. "So, can I go home now?"

"Don't you care?" Stefan asked.

Kadie didn't have it in her to lie. Her body was shutting down one organ by another, and pretty soon she knew that she was going to have to hit the lights. "No," was all that she could say. Stefan's eyebrows dropped and his shoulders tensed. He looked at Kadie like he had never looked at another person before; no one other than Damon.

"She does so much for you. She'll drop everything for you, to try and help you get through whatever mess you put yourself in. And you say you don't _care_? What kind of messed up person are you?" Stefan's eyes went through her. She would have been scared, in a room with an emotional vampire and one that completely shut himself off from humanity. Kadie blinked. "Elena loves you. If it were you in this situation, she would have stopped at nothing until you were safe back in that room."

Her heart wanted to lunge at those words. They should have affected her in some way. Instead, Kadie shrugged. "It's not my fault. I just don't." Kadie looked away. "Don't tell her, okay?"

"How could I not?" Stefan raised his voice.

"Because I'm trying to work on it." Kadie leveled her shoulders and stared up at him. Her eyes were void, and darker than he'd ever seen them before. Damon raised his eyebrows and took another sip from his scotch. "I'll care about her, okay? I know that she's a great person. I know everything about her. Sometimes I care about what's happening to her, and others I don't." She ran a hand through her blonde hair. She was too tired to be handling two emotional vampires. All she really wanted to do was go home and go to sleep. "Look, I'm working on it. Make sure that everyone stays out of it; including you two."

"Why?" Damon spoke up.

"Because I'm tired." Kadie smiled. "So one of you should take me home, because I was tired before this paranoid freak dragged me across town." Damon sighed and set his drink down. Stefan disappeared.

"Guess I'll do it."

Kadie smiled. "Thanks." Damon picked her up and took her to the house, not saying goodbye as he left out the window. Kadie had to shut it after he practically threw her onto the bed, probably to save Elena. She knew that, even though she lied to him, he wouldn't be able to let her turn. There really was something more to him. Kadie bit the inside of her lip and undressed until she was left only in the same t-shirt and underwear.

When her head hit the pillow, everything went cold. Her body started burning with coldness, and her veins felt like they were popping out of her. Kadie looked down at her arm, her tensed and strained hand, and saw that the veins had spread. They weren't only on their neck then, no, they were taking over her arms as well. Kadie bit back the scream threatening to let out. Instead, she let a noise escape through her teeth and curled into a ball. She didn't need to look into a mirror to know that her eyes had changed as well.

Kadie took the knife still on her bedside table and stabbed down into her arm. The gray completely surrounded the one part hurting her, flowing back and forth like she had just disturbed water. Blood spilled out of the wound, but that wasn't what was catching her attention. The gray didn't leave. "What the fuck?" Yeah, she was working on it all right.

.:::.

Her body was shaking, and her head pounding. Sleep wouldn't come to her, not with the constant pain. If Kadie didn't stab herself, or do something else that would redirect all of her gray to one area, she would be stuck having to live like some kind of freak. She wouldn't know what to say to someone if they walked in on her at that moment. _I'm working on it_. Kadie would have laughed at those four, stupid words. She didn't even know where to start. Her parents were clean. Everything was just fine. There was only one thing wrong in Kadie's life, and that was Kadie. She was the cause of it all.

"Am I the fucking antichrist or something?" Kadie muttered, running a hand through her hair. She walked into her bathroom and stared into the mirror. Her eyes were still completely black. The whites were gone. Her lips were a gray color and chapped. And the gray was directly in the stab wound that she had to keep pressing down on and hurting more. She was relieved that her veins weren't exploding, but it wasn't enough. She needed to be a normal human being in order to figure out what the hell was wrong with her. No one would speak to her if she continued to look like that.

The last time she looked like this, she threw up. Kadie rolled her eyes and let go of her wound, letting everything spread out and take over her body like flames. She tensed, but it didn't stop her from leaning over the toilet and sticking a finger in her throat. She gagged and spit up, but nothing enough to make everything go away. She tried again, this time not taking her finger out when she started gagging, and everything came. She ripped her burning hand away before anything more could hit it, and wiped it on her night shirt. She threw up a little, but it still wasn't everything. Kadie groaned.

"Are you- Oh my God," Jenna covered her mouth and stepped away from Kadie.

"Fuck, Jenna. It's not what it-"

"What are you?" Jenna blinked back tears. Kadie looked away and pressed down on the wound, making all of the gray focus on one area. At least she would look somewhat normal in front of her now terrified aunt.

"I'm still Kadie," The young woman reassured. "I'm still me." When Kadie took a step forward, Jenna stumbled back. Kadie decided to chance it and lean over the strawberry blonde. If vampires could do it, why couldn't she? "Forget what you saw just now, and don't come back in my room." Jenna's eyes turned blank for a moment and she nodded, walking away like she had just been turned into a robot. Kadie nearly screamed when the fire shot up her neck yet again and dropped to her knees.

Whatever the hell she was, she was doing things she'd only known a vampire to do. What the hell did that make her? She wasn't a vampire. She wasn't anything. Kadie was just Kadie, right? She felt like she was trying to figure out what clique she fit into in high school. It felt like she was trying to place herself into a group that she didn't belong. It was convenient, that she could do that. It was desperation, though. She wouldn't be able to do it again just on a whim. Jenna would tell everyone and ruin whatever chances she had at finding out the truth. They would kill her without a second thought. She needed to try, because she knew that somewhere deep down she could feel. Kadie was human, somewhere in there.

She just didn't know what the hell was on the outside.

Kadie's lungs felt like they were shrinking and she took quick breaths until her body gave in. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and then everything was black. Maybe she was just having some really bad withdrawal symptoms.

.:::.

**Author's Notes!  
**Short chapter! A lot's been going on lately, and I've been trying to think about how exactly to do this. Thanks for sticking with me and waiting! So, thank you for all of the previous reviews! I really appreciate them. Keep telling me what you think?

I don't own TVD.


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